Who am I?

WHO AM I? You want an honest answer - I DO NOT KNOW - Why? because I did what people expected of me (or tried my best to do so & never did) - - - I think I was a daughter, a sister, grand daughter, niece, cousin tho I always felt like the "black sheep of the family (tho related to no one in Culver directly except for my parents, brother and children; by marriage (forget it...) a wife, a mother, a friend - truthfully I am not sure I pleased anyone in any one of those categories of my life - I just done as I was told - - - and still try to do even to this day and guess I will till the day I die- when I tried to assert my independence it was shot down and still is... I was a nobody and I am yet a nobody to this day...

My Goal - dream - was restoring My Old house that dated from 1900 census (but older I do believe) the Burns family home since Oct 1940 (rented) and deeded to them Mar 1944, I know many people feel that I am crazy

Resume of Experience & Credits: Life Memberships (before 1990):

Former memberships:

I was an InGenWeb County Coordinator for Carroll, Greene and Sullivan & on the Website Standards / Assistance Committee Members; and was Assistant State Coordinator, Election Committe head for 2013; but left as of 14 Aug. 2012

EDUCATION :

OTHER:

GENEALOGY:

Genealogy researcher since 1976, ~~~~~ Published promoted and Printed - The Revised Genealogical Records of John Emery of Newbury, Massachusetts 1982, Book

and Updates and now at: was a Virtual Online book and his bothers Anthony's section ~~~ Other manuscripts - websites; and free research done for step-family and friends; till life as a caregiver goto in the way from November 2016, maybe i will get it back up and going again.

Work History:

Who am I? Besides being crazy enough to tackle the history and genealogy of Lake Maxinkuckee !

I am a genealogy and history nut... Its' all I know - all I have - its me - I have no other skills as I have been told over and over that anything I taught myself does not count in the 'real world' or so I have been told - what little education I got back in 1991-1993 did not count either - as over and over I was told 'I did not meet their qualifications' - so I am a nobody... I done what everyone else wanted me to do - when I tried to do what I wanted... I am still doing what other people want - except for my genealogy and history - its all that I have that’s ME, MYSELF and I as the saying goes! This only thing I have to pass on to others this is my legacy to the people Culver, Lake Maxinkuckee and the world if it means anything...

I was born in Bloomington, Monroe, Indiana tho my parents were living outside of Indianapolis, Marion, Indiana at the time with an address RR2 box 460 Indianapolis (per my birth certificate)- I was told it was out on High School Road between Indianapolis and Danville. I do remember dad taking the 'long way home' from Grandma's some time between 1959-1962 and wandering by the place where he worked and we lived tho I never remembered it nor can I tell you where it was; only that it was west of Indianapolis on what was to have been High School Road, dad never ever said the names of the people he worked for. I have a feeling this was one of the last trips he made to his parents before he took over managership of the Lakeshore garage

My parents were Alvin Robert Mc Kee (1908-1984) and Reba Doris Emery (1920-2009) both were Greene county Indiana natives, they went to the same community school and the same church, 'Church of Christ' in Lyons.

They were married at Linton, Greene, Indiana on 3 December 1948 and shortly there after moved to Bloomington, Monroe, Indiana, and then sometime thereafter to near Danville and then to Culver in Nov. 1952 and to Rochester May 1974 and then finally to Bradenton, Manatee, Florida in Sept. 1974 where they both died.

Dad was basically a "farmer" as were his parents - tho I learned that grandfather Mckee in his young adult years for awhile was a merchant of a grocery in Lyons. They resided out south of Lyons on the farm that great grandfather McKee bought around 1870 during the early 1900's grandfather struck oil on his farm and dabbled in oil driilling several wells as di several neighbors.

Mom was a Registered nurse who had graduated from City Hospital School of Nursing [now Wishard Hospital] at Indianapolis; what her father done as a living was not clear ever stated - did hear that he worked for the coal mines in some way as that's where he had hurt his leg - he had a limp when he walked. Dad had been a farmers son. His only education that I know of is that he graduated from high school. When they moved to Bloomington he worked in a drug store [I heard only brief mention of again not name or firm name was given] there and mom as a nurse at the Bloomington Hospital , I assume

Sometime before my birth they had moved to Danville where dad worked on a dairy farm and mom as a nurse at a hospital somewhere in the area.

So I count myself as much as a "Culverite" as the person who was born actually born in Culver or if their parents lived here at the time of their birth as most can not call Culver their "native town" - as they were either born in near by hospitals - Knox, Plymouth, Rochester, Winamac or as far away as South Bend - your "native town" is your birthplace.

In November 1952 we came to Culver, Marshall, County [I was 1 year and 1 month old]. Dad came ahead of us - to Culver from Danville, Indiana - to Newman’s Dairy work and we lived out on 19th Rd. on the left a top a hill or so I was told - the house has been long since gone. Newman Dairy Farm while they were still marketing their milk to Culver Military Academy which ended in 1957 - which was about or before that dad went work for Arthur Judson Dillon Farm. Again mom worked at the local area hospital - Marshall County Parkview Hospital ; and in the 1970's took on part-time work for a nursing home in Plymouth also; when needed.

YES - I grew up on that "Stinky hog farm" on the corner of St. Rd. 17 & 10. This is the view looking south to Culver, I have no pictures of the little white house that stood on the northwest corner; which was tore down some time during the 1970's or early 1980's nor the barn and wind mill that were on the northeast corner. This lot for a while sported the Camelot Lanes, and became the Culver Lanes & the 11th Frame Lounge which was first owned by the Neidlinger's and then the - Ozuscik's. some time in the 1990's it was tore down as it had sat abandoned for several years and was considered and 'eyesore'

this is the lots as they are today - the Dillon homestead which think might of just dated back to the Duddleston's of which were ancestors of the Dillon’s was also tore down also on the late 1990's because it was probably also considered an 'eyesore'; one can see the one remaining farm outbuilding in this picture - it was the mechanic's and tractor storage shed; buy it also was eventually tore down - the driveway you see is the original driveway into the farm house and barnyard area . Today there is nothing but a bare lot with the reaming stone wall that bordered the property of the little white house. it was always called "Dillon's corner - as at the time they owned all four corner's until selling off to the Academy and others. Today this northwest corner is owned by Michael J & Susan E Sheskey

And I was un-mercifully teased about it during those years (kids can be very mean); this still haunts me and my childhood memories even today. I remember the little white house clearly and the 2 pine trees that stood out front (of which mom chopped all the lower branches off to above head height on her). It had solid oak wood floors that my Grandfather Emery came up and spent a couple of weeks sanding down and re-finishing for mom. We would sit on the stone wall that bordered the front yard (only a very small part of it remains today) on the 4^th of July to watch the fire works at Culver Military Academy and the coming and going of the cars to the even with Jim Cox standing in the middle of St. Rds. 10 & 17 directing traffic. Other memorable memories are the long nights spent drying grain - or when the trucks which came to load out the hogs for the slaughter house; we would sit in the appropriate barn or shed and watch the goings on. Also learning to ride our second hand bicycle along the edge of St. Rd. 10 & 17; and running through the mud puddle on the corner there.

I entered Culver Elementary School in 1957-58, as a kindergartener - memories of the first day was locking my self into the bathroom. Also being teased and called names by one of the classmates who then promptly moved away from Culver at the end of the school year or the next - but the teasing and name-calling he started stuck around for several more years, making me one of the most un-popular kids of the class - of the school. I can't even remember my teacher for that year! Nor whether I was in morning or afternoon, but a good guess would be afternoon since mother worked 3-11 and would mean less expense for a babysitter :-)

My first grade (1958-59) teacher was Sandra Fitterling now Mrs. Jack Keyse; in June 1972 she became my neighbor two door south.

Not sure exactly when but it had to be at the towards end of the 1959-1960 school year - but do know where - school playground on that confounded contraption of steel pipes that formed a cube thee to each side three tall (finally found a picture of it). Its was during my 1st grad year with Sandra Fiitterling Keyser as my teacher. I spent the next year constantly in the dentist chair a Dr. Dunfee in Plymouth he tried to save them - I had knocked them into and upside down “V” they had just fully came in. First it was plastic type caps that cover the whole tooth – then he got it down to little molded gold caps for each tooth which constantly was coming loose and I would hunt all over for one of them or both - ttill I found them even out on the playground – I did not dare think I go home and tell mom they were lost. By Summer of 1960 a large cyst had formed above one of the teeth – meaning that one was infected and was dying or had died – and other on way so both were pulled at the same time - it was the summer we moved off the corner of St Rd. 10 & 17 - I was miserable - it was hot, sticky and a constant battle with the nats until my gums were fully healed

It was really the only dental care I received until my school year of 1965-1966 when the partial had to be replaced because it was to small and constantly flying out when i talked or laugh - fillings were put in teeth as well at the same time.

2nd grade was 1959-1960 teacher I believe was Gertie Allen it was this year that was spent trying to save my front teeth - chasing the gold caps around that would fall off around to salvage them - to save my mom money I didn't dare loose them and then it was a trip the dentist to have them put back on; such fun it was! Especially if this occurred out on the playground, but they were always retrieved somehow!!

3rd grade was 1960-1961 teacher Margaret Carter; 4th grade was 1961-1962 teacher Mary Esther (Henning) Wierick; 5th Grade 1961-1962 Jean Schricker (her husband was related to Gov. Schricker in some way).

Sometime during this time I took tap and ballet - but because mom wanted me to then it was when she could afford it only; it was the same with piano lessons after we had moved into town - I had Martha (Robinson) Stapan, Ethel Hoffman and finally Miss Goss ( I always felt sorry for them because they never understood why I was such a poor attendee - I loved learning to play and wanted to learn but I had do as mother wanted. I can play - but only for myself, I have no self confidence to play out in public or for others - I have tried but I am a failure at it ) - 4-H for one year I think because of the cost etc, and I attended one or two girl scout meetings but since they were after school that was out because it required money for books, uniforms etc. Of these experiences most of all I feel like I was the loser and a failure because I could never complete anything, never be a part of anything and I never had the confidence to go out and really being a part of anything (clubs etc.) because of this - besides not being popular.

Other memories for now are under the North section of Lakeshore drive and Dillon land pages. There was this huge built in wall cabinet for dishes and food - and mom stored the aspirin on the very top shelf out of reach of us kids or so she thought - how I done it I am not sure - but I climb up there and took some - mom tried getting through to Dr. Kubley via telephone but we had a lady who was on our party line who refused to share the line even in an emergency. Mom just finally gave up trying - hauled me out to the car and headed for the ER at Parkview Hospital - on the way I vomited all over the car. Another was cutting the top of my foot open while swinging by hanging onto the table and washer machine or dryer I fell onto the floor never did find out what cut it unless it was just the sharp edge of the vinyl floor covering - - - taking the meat hammer out of the freezer section of the frig and licking it and it sticking to my tongue - - - making hot coca by myself and pouring it down my chest, it was a disaster anyway as it was thick not drinkable! - - - cutting my leg open mid-calf ( the scar is still there today) by sitting down on the back door step some one had left broken glass on the step and the back door was locked so had to run to the front door - - - the gardens we planted each year between us and Dillon’s - the Raspberry patch that was where the bowling alley sat- now this area is all a bare lot. I was aghast when he had the old brick house tore down it was a family homestead a landmark of Culver - but of course everything in the name of progress - but WHAT PROGRESS it sits an empty bear lot for the last 10 years now! The old sheds and barns I could see the house no it was a lovely old brick house.

This is now the Patrick McCarthy farm west of Culver on St. Rd. 10.; they purchased it in 1962. Most the original farm outbuildings remain, The huge grain bins pictured were additions added by the McCarthy's as if I remember right there was only a silo attached to the one barn. the also remolded and added on to the farm house.

They added the addtion to the west that's visible; the front yard if remember right had lilac bushes and the property line along the drive way and state road was lined with spirea bushes. Propably they had the fron window enlarged to a picture window; and the proch was just screed in. From what I have learned this house was moved to this location from the present post office site about 1935.

In May of 1960 we were stilll listed as being a resient on St. Rd. 17. August of 1960 we moved from the corner of State Road 10 & 17 to the other farm Judd Dillon owned on St. Rd. 10 west where Pat McCarthy now owns. The August 1961 telephone directory has us listed as being at State Rd. 10. The only memories from this era is seeing mom running down the garden path chasing a very harmless garden snake and also arriving home on the bus after school seeing the pigs all out running around the yard and in the road and mother chasing after them - her first words to us were: "I have been chasing them all afternoon and I think I have put this one in at least twice before." - she had forgot to check to see where they were getting out of - so as fast as she had corralled them putting them in the front gate of the pen they were just escaping out the backside at the corner edge of the big barn - thus we lived here a total of 2 years.

Judd Dillon had finally went back and finished his college at Purdue University - and getting his teaching credentials and decided to quit farming in August 1962 - he began his teaching career in the South Bend School System and finally came "home" to Culver High School. Thus again we moved this time into Culver at the little brown house on the northeast corner of (409 or 419 Forrest Place John & Sandra (Hoesel ) Middleton had just vacated it)) of what is considered fully 700 lake shore drive today.

The house sat in the area of the upper right hand corner where the cars are parked bordering the alley. there was very little front yard or side yard on the alley it may be was all of one or two yards wide.the Lakeshore garage began at the edge of the side walk on Liberty street and sat on the very back of the lot with the back wall of the building sitting or bordering within a few feet of the alley - all that remains of the building today is what one would consider a "retaining wall" but this is the original concrete block of the Lakeshore Garage. It ran within a foot or little more of the garage for the house and it sat at an angle thus forming a "v" between the two buildings . The lot stood empty - until the Swirley Top was built and then burned and then the building sat empty for awhile until it was remodeled in the mid to late 1980's to once again to be a spot for dispensing gasoline along with a mini mart - first known as Adler's and now Osborn's

It was owned by Oscar Perrine along with the Lakeshore Garage which he owned and was leased out to Wayne Hittle of Rochester; he eventually became the owner of the building. Dad became manager of the gas station which eventually became Enco and Exxon. memories there were standing under an oil pan all afternoon; pumping gas for the customers - which included the amenities of washing the windshield, checking tire pressure and checking the oil. The building burnt in January 1972. We did not live here long as the roof leaked and the electric bills were extremely high - the electric was leaking out but they could not seem to find the problem. After the fire the house was sold and moved out into the country northeast of town somewhere. Living right across from the beach was heaven - we spent all our time during the summer there or at the gas station with dad.

Swimming lesson well they were like everything else - they were free - but it took time and running into town everyday, mother did not care for swimming from what I could gather and thus was never a beach person - I can not remember coming into the Culver Beach really before we moved into town in Aug. 1962. I am not a swimmer - I can and do a little - I can not even hold my breath properly to swim under water - so it never ever has appealed to me - but I love the lake - I loved the boat rides Frank Amond gave us in the 'Maxinkuckee' - we done small chores for him when he took out the swimming pier and his boat pier in the fall and put it back in the spring. I would run errands for Emma too when she need things.

Sometime during this period I remember a brief stint with 4-H - but of course again that took time, and money. Mother would not really help me on my projects - I remember trying to learn to knit as one of the projects - me being left handed and mother right even complicated it She basically refused to help me - I remember Jeanne Eppley's mother (Helen Keller ) who lived just north of us on Forret Placecoming to the rescue and also a Mrs. Katlin that lived north of town - she was a German lady and her husband worked in the tailor shop at the academy - both were left handed or were 'saints' for they taught me the basics and from there like everything else I taught my self - through trail and error. I am not a fancy knitter but I can eventually get a pattern figured out and done.

The summer of 1963 - we moved to Main Street Culver - the house sits on the corner of Cass and Main - it was the Crabb rental house and they owned the Crabb Furniture store next door. while living there Mrs. Crabb died and I believe that house was sold soon after and our reason for moving again. This house was bought by Wayne Von Ehr and extensively remodeled and changed the inside of the house both upstairs and downstairs - he enclosed a portion of the south side of the porch in n to make more living space, he also removed the one door that entered into the living room or what one would consider 'the parlor' of the olden days and left the door that entered into the dining room area of the old house. the major renovation came with the removal of the broken concrete stairs and the old garage that sat on top of a knoll along the alley on the corner of it and Cass st. he cut back the hill and opened up the basement of the old house and made a drive-in garage and workshop underneath the house; cut the wrap-round front porch down some - eliminated at least 2 doors from it there was one to the front living room; one to the secondary living room and one to the dinning room.

There has been several owners since the Von Ehr's the first being The first and most memorable one being the Luthuran minister Rev. Sommers and his wife Alma.

Memories there were the President Kennedy being assassinated. mother decided the washer/dryer that she had bought from Snyder’s a few years before - it was one of those new fangled ones that was a combination you turned it on to wash - set it to dry and when you cam back i the laundry was all done was not needed and it t sat unused in the kitchen until she possibly sold it - so I would be elected to take the laundry to the Downtown Laundromat and do the family wash - I was in 6^th grade and sitting in Mrs. Manis' classroom at the time the announcement came over the school speakers. Loren Carswell was my home room teacher; we rotated between three teachers in preparation for Junior and Senior high school - This was the year of the "new Math" where it took several pages to just answer one problem - it was the year when they decided to try and convert "lefties" to right handed - I REFUSED!!! my other teachers was Mr. Overstreet. It was the year of switching rooms and teachers for classes in preparation for high school - which then consisted of 7-12. Another memory was arriving home from school to find the house full of black smoke - upon reaching the kitchen and the stove I found what was to have been supper - a pot of Vegetable soup - with only a very small charred remnant - I opened the back door tossed the pot out into the snow bank and left the door open for air - the phone rang it was mom telling me the soup was on the stove and to turn it on "medium" - all I said oh that is what that was - she had instead of turning it "OFF" had turned it on "HIGH" as she went out to work. Another memory was falling down the back stairs the lead to the garage they were ragged broken concrete - I fell head first and flat on my face - and my father's Sunday dinner of Kentucky fried chicken, cole slaw, mashed potatoes and gravy and strawberry pie - needless to say there was little left of the dinner but the chicken - the remainder I was wearing from my chest to my feet when I picked my self up. Permanent reminders of this incident is a big gash on my left leg that left a scar still visible today - also a bad ankle - there should be a visible gash there. This remained home until about August 1964

This time the move was to S. Plymouth Street - where part of the Cove sits today there were "twin house' that had been built by Mr. Cline and they sat on the front part of the lot or lots which is represented by the blacktop parking lot; with the old big house that sat up on the knoll there where tore down to make way for the cove project. The house that is sitting in the center lot (which then in the 1960's and 1970's into the early 1980's was vacant and swampy) between the roads and alley. It was owned by William Hampton and sat up on the knoll also; then next in lien was the home of Bob & Thelma Hodges which was torn down and next. was the Charles Dickson home which remains today but has been extensively remodeled.

Our neighbors were William Hampton, Bob Hodges, the Wilhite’s, Charles Dickerson, and up on the front row "Main St." Roy Scott residence, Irene Hinkle, Bob & Hazel Hill, Angelo [he worked at the park in the summer], and Mabel & Bess Pura amongst others. There are not many memories here - except the death of my grandfather McKee and grandmother McKee coming to live with us and then she dying in February of 1966. The one memory was the tornado that hit the northern portion of Marshall county and St. Joseph County - tho none came near the Culver area we had the high winds - and I was chasing the brand new garbage can down S. Plymouth St. Mr. Hampton saw me and told me to "let it go" and if the winds got to bad we were to come over to his house and get in the basement - (our rental house only had a crawl pace under it). I remember the area always flooded with the rains and the water run-off from Main St. you always waded water with the car or walking; the front yard was constantly "soggy" when it rained. Another was a sub-zero winter night when the furnace went out and Al Poppe had to be called - he tore the whole thing apart - or rather in end had too - it was fuel oil heat and some one had poured pine tar in the fuel tank.

During late 1963 and until nov. 1964 was spent running to southern Indiana every other weekend to visit my dad's mother - his father was down with what they termed "harding of the arteries" back then and what today is called Alzheimer’s - I seen first hand the deteriorating effects of the disease - how it rob a person of their last shred of dignity grandfather laid there and wasted away - he could barely swallow Ice cream was the main staple of his food intake, one day while eating diner he stripped off all his pj's and turned himself up with hands on hips and peddled his legs as if riding a bicycle, you could walk your fingers up his rib cage and see, feel and count every rib - my birthday was Oct 13 - Grandfather McKee died on 15th - we buried him on the 17th - needless to say my birthday was not celebrated. a month later grandmother McKee came to live with us - we went back and got her and what few personal belongings could fit in our car with 5 people - and within the week dads brother brought up grandmothers, rocker, and bedroom suite and some other items.

Grandma McKee was given my bedroom - and I was moved to the landing area of the stairway (everyone walked through my room) into the attic and my brother had a bed in the big room - or finished attic area of the house on South Plymouth street. the night we got home - and think first week grandmother and I shared my "old bedroom" till her things arrived. I was told I kicked like a bay mule and kicked her out of the bed the first night !

While living here my brother got a paper route for the South Bend Tribune - in fact he eventually had the whole town - and my mother forced me into taking the 'town route' l which was the just about 1/2 or more of the town - leaving the shorter route the 'Academy route' for him. I never saw any of the money from the paper route it all went to my brother - unless my mother took my portion of the money. This was a seven day a week and meant getting up by 4 or 5 on Sunday mornings to deliver the paper. Mom never would help or drive us - so it meant doing it by bicycle in the rain, snow and heat. I could barely keep the bicycle with the newspapers upright; I remember I became anemic and my nose would start to bleed for no reason and yet I would have to run the paper route no matter what - even with it bleeding.

It was also sometime in 1966 mom and I was in South Bend and the sole of my shoe had a crack in the arch and I went head first down the basement stairs (they were solid marble) at J. C. Penny's I was carrying a box of carnival glass items mother had purchased down the street - I guess I must of looked a site sprawled flat on my face head first down the stairway I got up walked rest way down; told who ever had coming running from the store management that I was just fine and then I guess I must of passed out as next thing I knew there was police, EMT's and I had a free ambulance ride to Memorial - a grand headache for over a week afterwards. Needless to say there were several people from Culver at the top of the stairs one if memory serves me right was Eva Doll. Oh well I never did or do anything half-assed! - Guess the package was sent with them - and when we finally got it back none of it was broken! :-). I was not to go to activities etc. but I did - as that night was a play at school and Larry Banks was on of the lead actors in it - his mother Alice Banks came picked my up and I went. I also went to school Monday tho I was not too still stiff sore and a sore head.

It was 7th grade I acquired glasses - as to quote the eye doctor who came to school and checked our eyes for free that year I was barely able to see a basketball coming at me. Again I was back into the dentist chair for several months of needed dental work as the plastic partial I was fitted for in 3rd grade had grown too small and by this time the teeth should of been bridged in as suggested by Dr. Dunfee mother opted out for the cheaper end of the dental work - another plate - which iI had till 2005/6 when the facings broke. Again fillings were done and after this was completed it was the end of my dental care again - until I had to have an exam to put with the application for mom's nursing school in 1970. I even ended up having to pay over half that off after I had graduated out of highs school and started working at the Coffee Shop because mom and had not paid on it or very little each month from 1966/7 to 1970.

Teachers during the 7th and 8th grade period 1964-1965, 1965-1966 some of which I remember were Mrs. Frances England, Jerry Wolfe ( he was our 7 & 8th grade sponsor), Mr. Hooley, Linda Ulrich, Barbara Hughes; Home Ec was Barbara Winters , Violet Overmyer - and from her I learned my basics of sewing and cooking that mother would never really take the time to teach me - I wanted to take home Ec. during my Freshman year - but it was not allowed as I had to follow the college prep.

Feb. 1966 Grandmother McKee died and then sometime between late 1966 and into 1967 my mother's family home was sold - at Lyons, her sister moved to Linton

Summer of 1966 I took Typing with Mr. Miller - to escape the year long class or what ever it was at the time with Ruth shanks or Venice White
.
Freshman year 1966-7, I wanted to take Spanish but had I was forced into taking French I - it was to have been easier than Spanish - but I all but failed it. So next year I was able to take Spanish. English 9 with Barbara Hughes, High School math; physical Education with Violet Overmyer; and biology

The next move occurred during the school year of 1967 - we moved to Lakeshore Dr. it wa then owned by dale & Jane Long who sold it to the Wilhites in May of 1974; they also owned the lot next door on the corner of Hading and lakeshore which once was the 'Lakeside Hotel which burned in 1982 and remained vacant for many years until the present house was built in the kate 1990's or early 2000's.

It sits on the corner of the alley & Lake Shore Dr. across from it was old Ford garage - Ray Wicker had it for the first few years; then Ron Van Horn ... and now an array of shops and a restaurant. The house to the south was empty until Ivan Stubb's and his wife moved into it and the next house was then and is now the Reister family residence on the corner of Lake Shore Dr. and Lakeview St. How time changes - memories there are few - but memorable ones are - coming home from school one day and finding that my mother's sister Norma N. Emery had moved in with us - the death of Pete Onesti in 1968/9 it was on a Sunday and the noon hour - staying up all night during the presidential conventions (I used it as part of my semester project for U.S. History) - and seeing Robert Kennedy assassinated on TV. - I graduated from CCHS in May of 1970 - and the house next door burned in 1971/2 which use to be the Lakeside Hotel. It has been painted a different color and the proch was not fully enclosed as it is now.

Sophomore year and last year in the old building was 1967-1968 - It was Algebra I - the new modern math way with Paul Schmidt and substitute Mr. Mosely (a retired academy instructor) I all but failed that class - Mr. Mosely and dad would help me and show me the old way of doing Algebra they could just not understand why I was failing when i could work the problems and get the correct answers!; English was Barbara Hughes, health, Physical Education with Violet Overmyer and/or Valerie Hite, world history with Mr. McIntyre and Spanish... got to think some more

Driver's ed. - the Summer of 1968 with Dale R. Loneg, Mr. Gangloff and others. My brother wanted to take it and was allowed and when I expressed interest it also taking it mom refused to let me tak it but to put it nicely Dad "blew a cork"somehow dad over ruled I was able to take the course thanks to hem.

1968 - I battled strep throat - and my attendance report of school shows that I missed 24 1/2 days; taking bicillin shots every 2 weeks with penicillin tablets in between and then the shots were every week with the penicillin tablets in between. Finally in July the Dr. Howard finally put me in Parkview Marshal County Hospital for extensive testiig, blood, work, upper GI, bone marrow had every test ran imaginable from head to toe; spending a week there with no adverse results and I reall never have know the results of any of the testing . Some time after this Dr. Howard left town "overnight" . It was still raging on sometime either in August or September I was not allowed to have anymore of the antibiotics so the strep raged in full force and my throat was constantly sore and and I was constantly in Dr. Derry's office. Dr Derry finally sent me to Robert Long Hospital/Indiana University Medical Hospital mom took me down - dropped me off and came on back home never coming back till it was time for me to be released - This was the week of my birthday in October - it fell on a Sunday - but I know I spent it in the hospital alone and to face the battery of testing to extend beyond what was done in July non of those but blood work to be repeated of the array of testing one was radio-active and the one the final tests imbeded imbeded in my memory is where the numb the back of your throat with a spray/local ansethia; but in my case they waited to long and i t had wore off they grab that dangle thing in the back of your mouth and pulled everything out and up to inspect - mine was loaded with pus sacks underneath and high inflamed. They wanted me to come back there in a month for tonsil & anedoid surgery done under local ansethia ( like just what was done) NO WAY IN HELL removed in not after that experience - I told them we had 2 fine surgeons in Plymouth... I did not like the excursiating pain that was involverd and their refusl to listen that I was having it ... was told i the exam test would be pain free... but it was not. Mom's sister came up from Linton and spent a few hours maybe - but shopping at l.S. Ayers, Blocks and Wasson's was more important also . Thus I spent my birthday in the hospital - alone with strangers in a huge medical ward (there was at least 20-20 beds) - the only two people i knew were Cathy Easterday (Greg Easterday's sister who was training to be a nurse and Gary Dillon who was doing his internship there - they stopped by when time permitted. Then it was back home and wait... I back in the hospital in early November for tonsil & anoid removal under Dr. Rimel & France - with the promise I could eat a traditional thanksgiving dinner later in month - wrong - my Thanksgiving dinner that year was cream of Potato soup as my throat was still raw and sore it was a slow recovery since I still was allowed no antibiotics. and my meals for several weeks consisted mainly of soup or very limited soft foods; lots of milk

Junior year was the first year in New building. Teachers were; Jerry Wolfe - General chemistry; U. S. history - Steve Richie; English 11 - probably Carolyn Kline; Spanish - Mrs. Vasquez; choir - Jan Moon... got to think some more. Judd Dillon & Ruth Shanks were the Guidance Counselors - I could never bring myself to call him "Mr. Dillion" so I would just say hello or wave; as from a little kid he was "Judd".

Senior year. = Government & economics - Teachers were; Steven Ritchie, Choir with Jan Moon; English 12 - Carolyn Kline; Applied Math; Chemistry with Mrs. Colby; got to think some more. School actives listed under my senior picture were: Choir 11 & 12, Sunshine Society 10, 11 & 12 (with Ruth Shanks); Spanish club 10 & 11, and Yearbook Staff 12.

Ruth Shanks would take us girls personally to some of the Sunshine society events in the state - one I was allowed to go to was In Lafayette. Also late 1966 I got to know Ruth Shanks on a different level - she attended the church of Christ at Plymouth and after we moved to the Lakeshore drive house she would pick my brother and i up to go to Sunday evening and Wednesday evening worship and special events if Carol Straw could not. She was a very special person, a very caring person and we would call her "Ruth" during these times but as she sternly reminded us she was "Miss Shanks" in school tho.

I was a 1.59 grade point average; the class consisted of 103 and I ranked and 87.5; the only class I got a "b" in was choir, my straight "d" classes for both semesters were French I, Algebra I, Spanish II, English II, these rest bounced between a , D, D+, C, C-, & C+ and like I said before all I ever heard from mom was she could not understand why I could not make better grades - that her and dad were straight 'A' & 'B' students. She could or would not help me with my studies - dad would when he arrived home after being at the gas station all day. I would drag every single book home every night - do all the reading, required work and yet I seemed to be a failure in high school!

I had no pictures of my self from the schools years the only one I had for years was one done by Olan Mills when I was 6 or 7 out at Louis Banks' and my senior picture

I don't even remember mother buying any if she did it was just enough for the grandparents, and aunts uncles - We were not allowed to buy the years books but somehow I did manage to buy my Senior year book - my one frivolous item I guess out of my babysitting money!. I was only allowed to have one photo out of my senior pictures - that I remember I don't even think I had any to pass out to friends or classmates I can not remember that's been to long ago. I don't even have the announcement as only enough were purchased by mother to send to relatives only - if any ; Oh but I do have one of my brothers in its vinyl leatherette case that I was given by mother! It was not until 1990 and our 20th reunion did I go to the Culver Union Township Library and to gather up the all the pages on my grades from the yearbooks - for use during the reunion and so I could have a roster of kids of our class through the years. I still have those pages and hang on them - they are the only items I have of my school years and those came 20 some years late of my school years. There were no report cards saved, no art work etc. I do have my choir letter taken off my sweater I earned (mother wanted the black sweater to wear so I let her have it) and I have some of the articles, the tassel from my graduation cap of my senior year (that ' was when caps and gowns were rented and returned to be re-used the next year by someone else).

In fact we never had any family photos perched on the end tables, buffet, or posted on the walls; there were even no family photo albums!

My only job during high school was babysitting after we moved to Lakeshore drive this was for the Trump's, then the Noel's, and Prosser's. And I think they all went through mom at first - and she did allow me to finally baby-sit sometime in 1969/1970 but most of the money went to her or for household bills or toward items need for school - nothing frivolous etc. that was not allowed.

1969 - our class took as trip to Detroit, Michigan; drove through the tunnel over into Canada and back across the bridge (I guess so we could just say we had been to Canada); Henry Ford museum; the Kellogg factory and a couple of other places in Michigan before coming back home. It was a wonder my mother even allowed me to go, but she did but i did not have as much spending money as the other kids - just barely enough to get food to eat and maybe a small trinket .

High School graduation day 24 May 1970; Robert Rust was superintendent of the school system.

Began work at the Coffee Shop down the street as a waitress in 1970-June 1972 - the pay $1.25 - two meals and drinks and tips if there were any. I drank coffee because it was cheap, and non-fating (I did not use cream or sugar). Tips were only good when the academy was in or there was specialty camps running. Again most of my money went to mom or household bills; I was only allowed to keep enough for tuition fees and books for 1 classes per semester finally I was allowed 2 classes per semester. I loved the work and the people - there was only one sour incident which involved several men who were employed by the Culver Military Academy to sand blast the buildings - they were rude and very inconsiderate but I was taught 'The customer was always right' so I took there rude remarks refused to answer their questions (which was none of their business) for several week - finally it got to much - and the boss had stepped out - leaving just me and these men in the restaurant alone and they kept asking and badgering and telling me I had to answer them - It concerned the amount of money I made, hours I worked and If I worked weekends (which they already basically knew the hours I worked as they were steady customers) as to amount of money I made I told them it was none of he business they made threats of leaving no tip if I did not tell them etc and filing a complaint with the boss - I plainly informed them that they had not left me a tip at any time and they could go file a complaint with the boss and as far as I was could concerned in they did not like my attitude they could go out on Lake Maxinkuckee and chop a hole in it and jump in! They had the gall to ask if I would chop the hole and I said no needless to say they never came back after that - one poor regular local customer walked in on it and had never seen my anger or upset and almost walked out - he never ever said a word to anyone as to what had happened.

I started at Ancilla College 1 course per semester from Sept 1970 - - May 1972, that was all I could afford to pay for as mother kept me drained by making me pay some of her bills or not depositing my checks into the bank at Plymouth (I could not bank at Culver she would not allow it) when they should of been after I paid her bills and they beat the deposit to the bank which mom insisted she had to take to bank instead of me - and I rode to school with Jane Long, Jean Nelson, Mrs. Burke and an academy i nstructor (to them I am eternally grateful for the gesture) this continued until my mother finally allowed to drive by myself; this was only because course I took to appease mother - microbiology and child psychology that would also fit into possibly a teaching career besides nursing which she was still demanding I take.

As for the Coffee Shop job that came about because of dad - mom wanted me to work in the factories at Plymouth and I had several applications in but according to her rules I could only work 3-11 her hours and would have to ride to work with her dropping me off or the person she rode to work (they took turns driving every other day). Well that did not set with prospective employers but what was I to do I was not allowed to drive even tho I had my license - mothers rule yet my brother who was a year younger could. All I can remember is dad came home and told me Pearl needed help and would I go down - so I did. At least it did fit the qualifications in a way - it was not even a blocked from the house, I could walk, I would not have to drive (which mother would not allow any way at the time even tho I took drivers ed.

I can remember mom being in hospital for hital hernia - I was working the Coffee Shop cleaning house - I came home only to find my mom's sister down on her hands and knees scrubbing the floor I had mopped the night before - it was not clean enough - I was half sick dad was sick with the flu - but he kept the station open anyway - I think he was even sick enough to go to the doctor - I had same thing he did and he finally made me go - Dr. Deery gave me these little white pills that were to be the cure-all and knock me out - well finally did after about 3 1/2 hours and time to take another dose - I have no idea how long I slept before I woke up to find all but one of my pills gone out of the bottle - our little white miniature Alaskan type dog had gotten the child proof cap off and ate them all! - I done with out the medicine - I took the last remaining pill and hoped that it would half way work - I guess it did as I went back to work the next day.

Another memory was in 1971 the police car pulled up in front of the house - it was early - dad came in the door threw the bank books/bag at me told me to put them away and lock all the doors - and left - I sat for what seemed to be hours - before dad came back home with my brother in tow - he had wrecked out the only car we had - down just outside of Delong going into Lieters Ford - landed a telephone pole right down the middle from front to back. I do not remember what he got out of it - all I know he could still drive even tho he had wrecked it after we got it back and I still could not drive anywhere even in town by my self. I can still here mom's word echo to the effect - he is a boy and has to do things now and had to have the "advantages" - you have all the time in the world because I was a girl

Of my childhood - all I can sum it up as you did not question ever - you just obeyed and did as told - my brother was my mother's favorite. My mother and her sister always told everyone I was going to be a Registered Nurse and I was going to their school - City Hospital School of Nursing in Indianapolis; one never disagreed with what either one said... Mother always said the means to go would be there when the time - came; it was not and I did not qualify any way because of my grades. Tho mother forced me to apply and was rejected because of my grades, then tried to make me apply elsewhere - but my math, algebra, chemistry grades were all C's and below; I was just barely a C student in high school; there was just no use and the money was not there to go to school with anyway.

I really can't say what I wanted to be when I grew up as it was drummed into my head that I was to be a Registered Nurse - that’s all I ever heard - when I was asked mother or her sister would answer for me. I dared not to say different. So I nodded my head in agreement or said 'Yes' I think to just please them I agreed with them every time they told someone because that is what they wanted and expected of me. I guess I just believed that I was to become a 'Registered Nurse' because mom and her sister was one - because mother seemed to make things happen for what she wanted. Mom or Norma never asked me once in my lifetime what I wanted to be, what I was interested in, basically I was just told what I was going to be and had to accept it. i never remember getting any praise or compliment on things i done from mom or her sister - dad was quite, silent and not around since allot since the work he done as a farm labor and gas station manager occupied much of the day and evening hours there were no weeks ends off, .no holidays and no vacations.

Nothing was ever discussed in our house - mom told you what to do or not to do. I do know dad worked - what he made as a salary was never discussed - so I have no idea what he made at Newman's or Dillon's but I do assume the houses we lived in were a part of his working arrangement/salary. As gas station manager I have no idea again it was not discussed I assume the gas sales were a few cents on the amount sold (a percentage) ; i have no idea about the oil, pop, cigarette machine; and ice; the labor for oil and tire changes and basic mechanic work was his I do know. Same with mother - she was a Registered Nurse - but I know she made good money and but she also liked to spend it - the last 2 years at home all I can remember is bailing her out of over draft fees, paying for Columbia Records that she wanted for the records player (and I got none of them), and paying my then almost 6 year old dental bill off to Dr. Oldham who had long moved out of town.

From there I moved to 419 S. Main (the brown roof) in June 1972 and began my life with David Boswell Burns

- memories there abound. It was truly HOME it was not a rental house as it had been during my childhood - I still own the house - tho I do not live there - BUT IT IS MINE! For how long with all the turmoil over it I do not know - David chose not to finish bricking it, did not finish the fireplace or did not install a new roof but talked of having it done - he left me with nothing but the house and no work experience - I have tried - and I have tried to hang on to my house - but is it worth keeping the memories alive - - - keeping something David wanted me to have but did not want to provided for - I am beginning to truly have my doubts about the house as family and people have been very been vindictive over it.

I was just a house wife - just a mother - David would never allowed me to work out side the house; like mom there was no praise nor complements. So my kids were very privileged in that they had what I did not have as a child - a mother who did not work - who was around 24/7 whether they appreciated it or not I have no idea [my thoughts were they cared less about me and whether I was around for them as it was dad who "handed out" to them as one of their peers told me a few years ago that he amongst others were envious of that]. They were privileged in they were not required to do chores nor did they have to clean their room - David always informed me "that was what I was around for . Of course because of this I have no solid work skills except those of the house wife, mother, and those I self taught my self - genealogy research and computer. I can lay stone - I learned how by watching David around the lake - so after he died I did lay some stone up around the house, and rebuilt the north wall and built the South wall that I had laid one row in just dirt.

Again these years as a wife & mother all I can sum it up as you did not question ever - you just obeyed and did as told. I done all work the inside house repairs such as painting, steam cleaning, plastering etc. to save money - I look back and wonder why - when it was spent foolishly elsewhere or given to other members of the family and I was left un-provided for except for just the house and trinkets. medical and dental care was left to the kids - only in extreme instances did I go - such occasions were muscle spasm in the shoulder blades, and in the arch of my foot of course was told to go home and sit and rest - which did not happen. our dental care came the year David entered kindergarten - David built a planter in front of the dental clinic and that was our 'so-called' dental insurance plan - as always the kids came first - and then me, a filling or two I think was left for me.

I was never well liked - I was never considered a good student in school - and I never fulfilled my mothers dream and wishes of me becoming a Registered Nurse like her and her sister; so I was a great disappointment to them. Also to add to mother's and her sister's disappointment of me I refuse to pack-up my things along with my son David Boswell Burns and expecting Susie; and move to Florida with them in the fall of 1974 - thus I became an outcast in my own family. For that I have never been sorry; yet to today I wonder if I would of been better off - or worse off for mother would of controlled my life - David & Susie's lives also they defiantly would no be what they are today.

People have said I am like my mother - but I can say I am not - she many a time reminded me that she and dad were a straight A & B students in high school (I was not I was just lucky to get a C of some sort - "D's" seemed to be my most popular grade), she was selfish in alot of ways - she spent and bought what she wanted even if it was not needed. Mother was determined, in away she was heartless and cold; she was career orientated her nursing and nursing associations came before anything. She was not an outgoing person in my mind, she would not join any clubs etc. of Culver and she would not shop in Culver unless she just had to - she went to Indianapolis for our clothing, to Plymouth for groceries etc. and South Bend; and she would not attend church in Culver either first it was the Christian Church (it sat on part of the now library property in Plymouth) and the Church of Christ down on Michigan St. & Oak Hill avenue finally from 1964/5 on or at least till I left home in June 1972. At times I wish she had instilled into me the hard callous, unfeeling, selfishness, career-oriented only attitude that she possessed but alas she did not and why I have no real idea as to why. To me she would of been the ultimate person for the "Women Liber's, rights etc spoke person. I have the last few year desperately wished I had her qualities - but I don't.

Dad - well we he was smart - this I knew from mom as she would reminded me that dad was a straight A & B student in high school; he was hard working, he was mild tempered, he was outgoing when not around mom; he truthful seemed to do what she said or wanted to do. I vividly remember mother throwing some type of tantrum between the time grandmother McKee came to live with us in Nov. 1964 and when she died in Feb. 1996. There was a very heated argument over something relate to her and her welfare - what ever it was mother did not agree with dad and began threatening, yelling and screaming divorce; this was the only time I ever heard or saw my parents in a "heated discussion"; dad just basically walked out of the house and to work; he had had enough - could get nowhere with her in the discussion. He really enjoyed his work and especially at the gas station - he enjoyed meeting and serving the people and the community there - Like I said know that his income as it was a percentage of the gas sales etc. and the labor he made from basic mechanic work . In 1964 and 1966 he had to go borrow money to foot the entire burial expenses of his father and mother; his siblings a brother and sister would not help out. In later years after they moved to Florida dad became more talkative outgoing - but it was in spurts - and I finally one day figured it out - Dad would talk if mother was not around anywhere if she was he was un-talkative about anything. The greatest times were on the phone with him after I started genealogy and he loved to talk about the family. He was hard worker - but mother had him under her control too unless he really got riled and his terms & meaning of fair justice to another was crossed - then watch out - you could see him come to a boil and he let you ' know just what he did think in no un-certain terms.

School memories are slim and few - as I was not popular and not a joiner - I remember the early taunting even to this day about growing up on the 'stinky hog farm'. I joined the Pep Club during my 7^th, 8^th years only to be taunted on the bus rides to the away games by one girl - I can remember her pulling the fur out of the collar of my winter coat; I did join the Sunshine Society during high school years and the yearbook staff during my senior year; Choir was a class during my Junior and Senior year and I participated in its activities. I can remember mother's words if she even thought I was going to ask to do something "you have plenty of time because your a girl - your brother don't" - I never have figured that out to this day. But from this experience I never refused to let David or Susie join anything in school but of course that wa their dad's policy so why fight it... - they were to have anything they wanted even if they lost interest in it and dropped out on their own accord.

Tho I never had a real great love for history in school it was my favorite subject and I always wanted Latham Lawson as a history teacher but for some reason I never did have him during my 7^th, 8^th, or high school years and yes I was disappointed.

Mother always shopped at LS Ayers in Indianapolis - it would be at least on a monthly basis it not every other month - sometime during the mid 1960's she started taking me with her or at least when I remember going ; mother sister from Greene county Indiana would drive up and meet us there - One memorable trip was when a local hair salon had burnt my hair to a crisp with a permanent one did not take so they applied another - so during the shopping trip to LS Ayres I was dumped off in their hair salon and they were told to do what had to be done to correct the mess - the only thing was a very very short hair cut. Another memorable trip was mom became dissatisfied with the local eye doctor (her prescription) thus she would not let me go back to him and she had my eyes tested at the LS Ayres Optical department - and they had dilated my eyes and on the way home a got very sick to my stomach so I laid down in the front seat and fastened the seat belt around me - and it jammed and could be be opened till we got to dad at the station on Lake Shore Dr (where Osborn's is now). To make matters worse of this eye exam they sent my glasses to Culver city, California because Culver Indiana did not exist to this person or so they claimed (her LS Ayres charge card bore the address of culver Indiana!). We always either ate in the cafeteria in the basement, dinning room in one of upper floor or the famous 'tea room' on the mezzanine (balcony) of the first floor. Another memorable time was when mother bought this very hugh cut glass punch bowl with matching under tray and cups sometime while I was in 7th or 8th grade last I seen it it sat on the buffet at the house on Lake Shore Dr. (where Willhite’s now live); we never used it and I never figured why she had bought it - it was used one time for a school function of some type, Barbara Winters came and got it for either a Home Ec. or Sunshine sponsored event. My favorite time of going was sometime after Thanksgiving (or in November) when all the Christmas decorations were out - we would park in the parking garage and walked through the tunnel into the basement of LS Ayers - they had this very huge tree all trimmed out in ornaments and all were for sale individually. We would walk to 2 other departments stores - Block's and Wasson's (I believe) that was on the circle.

I attend Ancilla College from the fall of 1970-June 1972 - starting out with only American History class under Sister Vivan - and there I think the real "bug" for history hit. When I quit in June 1972 I think I had 17 hours under my belt.

1972 -3 Should of been happiest of my life - as my first child was on the way - born (David Boswell Burns) - but it was a tug of war between my mother, her sister and me - if you call it that - I listened they demanded and threatened - each time they visited me once a week - after they left I would sit and cry for hours afterwards, eat anything in site which was not much except snack foods as David still insisted on eating in restaurants and carrying me home a sandwich - I went from 125-130 to well over 190 by the time David was born - lucky I had no problems , no blood pressure issues (until the day of birth) the doctor even kept telling me I was not all baby and water, but in reality I was - David was 9 lbs. and after he was born I went back to 150 pounds which meant during the whole pregnancy I gain only 25 pounds during this whole time dad and David some how remained neutral in all that matters and kept their opinions to themselves etc. - Dad I could believe it of but of David well ... When David was born I learned just how good a nurse my mother was - COLD HEARTED & vindictive - all I had ever heard was how great she was, how compassionate etc etc but I saw none of that in her - by ethically standards she should not of been on duty or my nurse but she would not be relieved of her duties - all I can say is that the day my son was born was a nightmare that no one should live through and even tho to this day I do not forgive my mother or her sister for their actions, and threats; they stood on each side of me and tried to hammer into me that I was not to go back home to David , that he was an un-caring, un-desirable person etc. etc. Sometime afternoon Dr. Deery had to break my water bag and every time I sat up or rolled over my water gushed out and my mother complained about having to change the bed clothes and getting me a dry gown. She started in about grandparents rights , and what I was to do this and that and that if I did not do as she wanted she would take legal action to get what she wanted - she basically kept me upset the whole time I was in the hospital; she had even somehow managed to get David barred from coming to the hospital except for coming to pick me up when I refused to go home with her.

After I chose David and to remain in Culver, I was really the "Black Sheep" and little to my knowledge I was the "Black Sheep" of the Burns' family never being accepted only "tolerated" decades later I was tol my children would always be considered "family" but I was not... who the... brought them into this world???? they did not just instantly appear without a mother.

From May 1974 when mom and dad moved from Culver to Rochester she made her demands, threats etc - that I had to bring my son to their place every week or she would file charges against me and she was badgering me constantly that I had to move to Florida with her, dad and her sister or else... all this was done when dad was not present. Well I did not - the or else guess it was not being consider part of the family, knowing what was going on but yet I was to know everything about what they were doing, their health etc. but mother dear would tell me nothing and dad dared not speak unless mother was not around or in hearing distance (when I finally caught on and realized that was the case it was to late but when I did I made sure I called when I knew mother-dear would not be at home or if she was I made a point to call back later, dad loved to talk if mother was not around or within hearing distance I found out!.

I got interest in genealogy in 1976 and started tracing my ancestry only intending to get enough to get me started and I was going to lay it aside until when the kids were grown - that never happened and then David's ancestry I hired done as was all over in Scotland. My step-daughter asked for help in doing work on her mothers ancestry and on the Schrimsher and Green ancestry. Like I said earlier - The greatest times were on the phone with him after I started genealogy and he loved to talk about the family. genealogy opened up an entire new relationship with my dad and for that I am grateful - every phone call he would ask if I had found "Uncle Joe's family yet" and I would have to keep telling him NO and that he had none - and he did no know what we was talking about - but he would always end with Uncle Joe had a family... I was at times very close to telling him he did not know what he was talking about but never did and I am glad I never uttered those words to him - well guess what he did I know what he was talking about as I found Uncle Joe's family or part of them in 1988 when I lost my entire McKee manuscript - dad was right Uncle Joe did have a family - was he laughing at me from above? saying "I told you so". Mother - well she would not talk of her family tho she had pictures and some newspaper clippings) - she thought I was crazy for doing it and never ever offered any help and I never pushed the issue of her helping provided information on her side of the family – you just did not push mother into anything! - there are times through the years I wished dad was alive...

David loved working around the lake - he worked either for himself or under Bennett's only making enough to cover the cost of supplies and his labor for the boys, and sometimes losing any money he had counted in for labor for himself - but that was David - you did not over charge

1976 or 1977 - when we made one of our trips to Florida we stopped at the Pancake house at Kokomo. Susie was still small enough to be in a high chair - she was sitting at the end of the booth/table and some lady passed by to go to the restroom on her way back through she kept staring at Susie and then when she to the high chair - she pinched Susie of course Susie let out a scream. The lady apologized saying she thought she was a doll, did not think she was a real live baby. Of course she then she made the remark of how cute she was and she did look like a baby-doll.

Sometime in the late 1970's Karen Dewitt Leonard raised poodles the miniature or toy and her female had a litter she had brought them into the bank and Carl Adams had thought he was doing the kids a big favor - by coming around and showing the to the kids - he said the word 'dogs' and David and Susie went screaming fro the front door; it was more David but what David did Susie mimicked. He had a bad experience when he was only 2-3 years old with a neighbors dog (he was just a puppy but very large as tall as David when he stood on his hind legs) that had come into the back yard and jumped on him and clawed him while I was hanging clothes out on the line - from that time on he was afraid of dogs.

1980 - only one time did he work under another person/business - and made any money - it was through another business man other than Bennett’s who will remain nameless for an academy alumni who had bought a house on academy drive - it was all stone work if remember right and lots of stone walls - I had typed up the bill to David's specifications (I even kept his handwritten copy) - took the kids and went shopping in Plymouth for something - when I arrived home he was sitting in his chair in the living room mad - telling me that I had typed the bill up wrong - I went got his written copy and presented it to him asking what was wrong with the typed one as it was word for word - he had re-written the bill but the only thing that had changed was the amount of labor for David and his boys - cost of material etc. did not figure into this job as it all had been furnished by the businessman/contractor This person made David double or triple the labor charges and as I said there were no supplies involved as all was supplied by the 'middle man' and was billed separately by him! It had to be done that way according to David because of the contractor he was working under and he done all the re-billing and collecting from this person had to go through this contractor so called 'middle man'- David claimed was told that he could not bill the person personally for any of the labor work only; I was aghast at how this businessman/contractor chose to rip off this person - of course he also probably received a hefty commission (a percentage of the total cost of David's bill) because he was the middle man. As soon as he got out from under this person he went right back to the way he always billed. And he refused to do any sub-contracting work for the person ever again.

this irritated the neighbor across the street, even tho I went out mid morning - and done it in afternoons l & early evenings when David was out fishing. The remaining stump was that of a boxelder tree that sat on the top of the hill about 2-4 feet away from the side walk and was gone by 1980. David always threaten to raise up the section of sidewalk and cut the roots of the Catalpa tree that sat on the street side on (in the terrace); several people had even in the lay 1970's and early 1980's went to the town and complained about its roots raising the sidewalk up but the town officials just kept ignoring the problem.

At least the kitchen and the laundry room and a roof over the back house got done at the house and of course the money for most of the materials used in this project went right back into the businessman/contractor's pocket because that's where David insisted of buying most of the supplies because it was local! The kitchen linoleum was torn in several places while being installed by this persons help - it was either patched of glued down to the floor more where it was torn. If supplies were bought out of town I had to do the running after them - He refused to have Bennett's do any of the work - why I have no idea for sure - but I think it was because he thought he could save some money - but I am sorry to say he did not. He refused to let them put siding on the laundry room as he was going to finish bricking the house in the Spring of 1981 and he kept putting it of each time with in the fall, in the spring.... well it never came about - everyone else's work came first and fishing.

1982 February or March seen a six foot hole cut in the back room for the fire place that stayed that way until mid Aug. with just a old canvas trap nailed up to it. Some animal had crawled up under the crawl space and died and over the period of weeks got on the ripe side - that's when David decided to at least stone in the hole - and then work at the rest when he wanted too. He never finished the inside like he wanted it done - because John Elliot had talked him into putting in a drop ceiling - so he never did complete the inside of the fireplace at all. And then because wind gusts filling the house with smoke he had to add another 3-4 feet to the outside chimney - and again he reused to finish it..

And same went when he had the fireplace room, bathroom done and windows put it by another contractor other than Bennett's; the windows used were either discontinued or defective as they were missing screens, handles/cranks, latches etc. and other faults appeared less than a few months after they had been installed and nothing was ever corrected - I could live with it - - which I have; this would of never happened if Bennett's had done any of then work (why he would not let Bennett’s do the job I have no idea - but I wish it had been done by them). This contractor even gouged the kitchen hallway linoleum while his help dragged the cast iron bathtub out of the house - but all this was okay - it was only David he allowed it he would not complain, I had to accept it and live with it and I have. while the big fireplace room was done - David left for his fishing trip to Florida - the kids beds were moved to the dining room under the chandelier - and they had not bothered it till David found out and told them not to jump on the mattresses which were underneath it or touch it - needless to say - they began and a crystal came up missing off it and never was found again - the contractors found one of them but was by accident since it did not glitter with all the plastic and black coal dust that filled the room. Years before the house was heated with coal and all that black coal dust from the furnace and heat was trapped behind the plaster walls and still is in the other rooms.

It was about this time that David allowed David to ride his bike to school - one day Eunice called me and told me she had taken David's bike away from him as he would not obey her and he had rode out in front of a vehicle. She told me she was not giving it to me or allowing me to have it as I would only give it back to David - and she wanted her dad to come get it. Well he did - what he promised her I do not know but David was promptly given the bike back the minute he got home by his father with not reprimand or punishment given.

1982 - we were to go to Florida for Christmas vacation for 2 weeks - but I had started cleaning house and sometime in the middle of November I could barely push the sweeper across the floor or breath. The doctor put me on 2 kinds of antibiotic - the last was EES and made everything worse I could not even motivate while taking it. was sent to South Bend for blood gasses the middle of December. since we had the reservations and a down payment made David decided he would go by himself - take my parents Christmas gifts with him. As I had an appointment for the test results on Christmas-eve; nothing was found and I was told to go home and get sick again maybe they could find it, there was one follow -up appointment after that too. My dad's brother-in-law at Pinellas park, Florida died on Christmas-eve and mother called expecting me to fly down there for the funeral - sick, with the kids, and no money... no I did not go I did not feel good enough to drive to Indianapolis by myself with the kids and handled them on an ariplane! We had not been close as they moved to Florida from Wisconsin in 1957/1958; we saw dad's sister Thelma only while her father was ill in 1964 and at his funeral and grandfathers in 1966. I saw them in 1972, when mother shipped me to Florida to try and get me away from David, with lies and the help of our neighbor/landlord Jane Long. then David, the kids and I stopped to see them in 1978 when we went to Florida; and I also seen Thelma at her brothers funeral in 1985. Mom and dad saw them every so often after they moved to Bradenton as it was only about a 40 minutes drive between the 2 homes.

1983 was a slim year but we made it through - he done little work around the lake etc. - there was one group that tried pushing him into putting in a seawall for them - they (3 of them) came to the house to try convince him it would do him no harm to do the seawall before or soon after he had surgery. He had or was doing some small jobs for Bennett's and used him as an excuse to delay surgery for over 2 weeks. it was the end or middle of July before he went it it was 90 - 100 degree weather - and of course the car had to act up the low coolant light would come on - I had a thermostat put in it, and it still done it - had it checked at a service station in Plymouth and they said it was full of water and okay, David’s son-in-law told me it was alright to drive it as long as the low coolant light did not come on and say on and the temperature gage. I stopped at A&R on the third day of this going on and the radiator was only 1/3 full or less, and when finally filled it was found that there was a hole in the top of it. the mechanic just shook his head and wondered how I had not burnt the engine up in it - but I left early in the morning, came home in the late evening and never ran the air conditioning.

1983 September - January 25, 1984; really after that as we ran probationary till our certification came trough - my life circle around the basic Emergency medical technician class I volunteered for - we were to attain a grade for 70 or 75 each test our lowest of 11 would be thrown out test grades were 95, 85, 104, 73 (tossed out), 93, 95, 95, 91, 94, 88, and 86 for a class score of 92.6. The state exam was 25^th January and was in 5 parts we were allowed to make a score of 70-75 on it forget how many was allowed - I scored 80, 96, 84, 84 and 92 = 436/5 = 87.2. My certification came through on 1 April 1984 and shortly there after I was dropped as a EMT for Culver - no real good answers ; one explanation was that it was thought I would failed the class by the 5 ^th class exam and thus would be dropped because of non class performance. I loved the classes, enjoyed them and enjoyed the time as probationary EMT. But it was a good hard lesson on volunteering for the community - never again would I volunteer for anything! never again would I donate and devote so much time for nothing... just to be knocked in the teeth and told in not so many words but was inferred that 'I was not good enough'...

Dad Christmas Eve 1983. Last time I saw dad was when we buried his brother 30 October 1984.

Dad died 25 November 1984 at 5:05 p.m. and just the month before his brother had died on 26 October at 6:35 p.m; it was as if he was trying to die on the same day and same time as his brother - even his sister mentioned this several months later and asked if I had realized it. I know when his brother finally was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s the late summer early fall of 1983 and had told me all he wanted was to live long enough to bury his brother - dad had a sister seven years younger than he but he made no mention of living to see her buried and he lived within 30-40 miles of her. We buried his brother Lowell on the 30^th of October and dad was unable to drive home so Steve drove straight through back to Bradenton, Florida dad was able to put his Social Security check in the bank on the 3^rd and then entered the hospital never going home. We buried him on Thanksgiving Eve so there was no Thanksgiving that year for either families - what David & the kids had I do not know they fended for themselves while I was gone with no help form any other family members. My brother's son as I held him in my arms so he could look at his grandfather in his casket (no one else would do so and refused to , but I felt he had that right to do want he wanted) - Michael uttered "I love you, why could you not stay for Christmas'

To this day I miss dad - our long phone conversations on family history - I finally got to know my father and was able to interact with him because of my genealogy - even if it was over the phone.

1985 - was the last years that me and the kids went to Florida - we stayed several days with mother and then went on down to Ft. Myers beach so David could fish with the 'Culverites' that wintered there Ben Rogers and Verl McFeely. I drove both there and back. Real fun - on way down dad gave Susie permission that she could play her flute in the car and with a broken reed; it did not matter that it could be a distraction to me while driving. I remember that last trip also because we had bought oranges and grapefruit and David ended up promising to bring fruit home to the Culver families and there was no space for ours – and I was told to leave it behind - NO way so I proceeded to open bags an stuff the fruit in the cubby space made when the back seat was folded down I filled those spaces to the max and then dumped then started packing the fruit under the front seat occasionally sitting on the front testing it out to see how high I could pack it pack it before it possibly could be crushed – then I dumped the rest out on the back floor board of the car, David just asked what I did with it all and all I said was just hope we don not have a wreck going home. After that year the kids really did not want to go to Florida for they had school programs and they wanted to be able to run around with theirs friends over Christmas break in stead of being in Florida those two weeks , guess could not blame them .

During the years with David he talked of the past of Culver, the lake - its people the cottages etc. - I have tried to remember as much as could of what he told to others and me as he would never sit down and write it out - or sit down and tape-record an oral history - it was interesting, informative to say the least! it is to bad some one did not tie him to one of the lamp posts in the park and refuse to let him go fishing till he put down his memories of Culver’s past - what a treasure and help it would of been. One time he joked that no one would want to know what he knew, and the assorted details etc. - he spoke of the ices house, hotels (some how bless Jolene Westafer's heart she got him do do the ice houses and hotels for the cub scouts and we have that much of his memories), he spoke of major fires, the older generations, the cottages and who owned them when some of them were built, as well as some of the non-existent businesses.

Last picture of mother I have and the last time I saw her - 12 Aug 1988 when we buried her Aunt Minnie (Emery) Edington

Probably late 1988 and early 1989 brought on congestive heart - he had difficulty breathing and he laid it on to the cigarettes so he stopped smoking, but it did not help he still had the labored breathing, sat in the chair to sleep and you could hear him on the extension above who ever was calling and often times could not hear they party who was calling. Finally on 23 Sep 1989 he demanded way before 8 a.m. that I immediately get him a doctors appoint, but then promptly left the house to go Hansen's for coffee and still before the doctors office open was back to the house demanding to go immediately; the doctor was not in till 9 or after. We ended up at the hospital for chest ex-rays and had was just walking into the house when Dr. Deery called and wanted him back at the office for an EKG STAT - he asked why and knowing he would not go if told I when he asked and Deery still on the phone I lamely told him I did not know and just that Dr. Deery wanted to talk to him in the office immediately, told him we would be there shortly and we went. He was put on Digoxin and lasix that had to be taken every day to regulate the heart rate etc. but he would not take it every day - he would skip a day and then would skip two or more and played mind games about taking the medication - I just kept telling him that he was hurting no one but himself. In December he got down sick with flu or pneumonia and refused to go to doctor - at after 10 p.m. had to call and get everyone out of bed - there was some type of ballgame on too and of course he had not taken his medication for several days - trying to get what Dr. Deery wanted him to take was like pulling hair out - I brought out the cough syrup, laid the pills out along with the aspirin, and he refused take them saying he was not going to take them all at once or at all - Susie and David walked in the middle of it and I told her and David what was going on and told them to try and get those down him while I went got the antibiotic from Hooks and John Reininga. It was even raining. When I got home Susie had managed somehow to get him to take all the medications - and he tried to refuse to take the antibiotic as he had already taken all the other - but we finally got that down him. he was still not fully recovered from what ever he had but he still insisted on going on to Florida for his annual fishing trip - so I went got all new heart medications to take with him to be started the day after he left home - so we had a count of # of pills in the bottle in case anything happened while he was gone - he got as far as the Rochester or Peru truck stop turned around came home (he never would say which and why he had come back home except he was not feeling good) and then was feeling better by noon and wanted to try it again - since I could not talk him out of it I called Eunice & Glen to see what they could do - they came down and talked to him and i went to the kitchen while they did he came in and looked at me and said if he was going to listen to anyone it would be only me ( I just looked at him kept my mouth shut) he did not go to Florida that year if I remember right.

During his the last year his temperament and personality was ever changing after he was diagnosed with congestive heart. He was always saying "something is not right' - he would not tell anyone, not even the doctor or Eunice what he felt was wrong. If I said anything about not taking his medicine properly when asked - then I would get the cold treatment and told to mind my own business; but for some reason he demand that I go to the doctor with him and be in the room with him while the doctor was present. He became irritable with people; but tried to hide it in their presence. He would talk bad of people he always had liked and got along with and was constantly putting them down to me - or making snide remarks about them it did not matter who they were - family, friends or business people. One instance was when we ate out at Papa's he had the pork chop dinner - and he complained etc about the pork chop being burnt and refused to let them take it back and re-do it and ate it anyway and still ranted on about how it was burnt and being none to quiet about it (I wanted to crawl under the table) - if memory serves me right in the end we got our meal free and drinks too - but he still went back and ate there. I felt so sorry for the owner and the waitresses etc. and I was embarrassed over what he had done.

He had accepted a job in Plymouth that last summer - he had promised David that he could go work for him - but he refused to take him making new excuses to him each time (I found out later why after his death whether David knew the reason is beyond me but I know he was disappointed in his father for denying him this opportunity). He thought it was the 'Golden Goose" - the job to end all jobs - but it was a nightmare in hell for him - he done work I never seen him do before (the boys even said as much too) - just to keep the person's mouth shut - to please here - it had to be done her way - even if wrong - the help got into arguments over the quality - or rather the non-quality worked he done just to keep her mouth and nagging quite. She had spent thousands of dollars on landscape layouts only to deviate from them - she chose shoe bricks to go around trees flower beds etc as the landscape plans called for only after they had been ordered delivered to decides that she did not want them; at her instance David had to pay for the all the brick ordered of the job and then she would in turn pay him; sending them back meant a pickup and re-stocking fee that was not counted into the estimate - he would lay the brick according to the design layout of the brick she had chosen - she did not like it - it would all have to be torn out and re-laid her way - brick was sliced paper thin instead of wedge cut of the full to make the circle, turn etc as was normal in brick work. She was forever changing the amount of work being done adding extra cost that was not tallied into the estimate etc. He finally broke away for a short period to do a job for Bennett's and was working on another one for him - just so he would not have to go back up there - or to delay going up there - if she called he used the excuse this work was promised before hers was began.

I dubbed her the "bitch on roller-skates" from the time he started the job for her was when he started refusing to take his digoxin and water pill he was to take daily - he went 62 days without them - oh there were a couple of times he came home went straight to the pill bottles and took them - why I never figured out till the day he died - at his insistence I left him alone with Susie to take David to the beach (he could not walk there on his own to feet and dad made sure of that) and I had to stop to get Susie a bottle of dam shampoo too on the way back home at Hooks - I can never forget seeing Glen Schrimsher pulling out of the parking lot ahead of me with his blue light on - for one fleeting moment I did think it was David - but I said "no he could not do that to us" - I go to the house and the help Dan Felda & Mike Shidler was pacing at the back door - greeting me with "is David okay" I asked what was wrong and they told me how he left the job, his color, condition etc. - by what they described I can not figure out why he did not go to Long Point where Eunice his daughter was living at the time - or how he made it home- but by the time he walked in the door his color was back - he claimed there was nothing wrong and smelled the mulligan stew and wanted to know if was done yet - I walked into the house telling me nothing was wrong he was just fine he was there in his chair watching TV with Susie just as I had left them both laughing etc - it was Don Knotts and the goofy movie where he turns into a fish - but Susie was standing in the living room with a look of horror on her face in tears and all she could say was she had called the ambulance - I had no more moved the dining room table and Sally Riccardi was knocking on the front door the rest is a nightmare - over half the family was at the house - cars lined the street for several blocks...

The last few years he was alive every time the Culver Academy had events for parents, alumni, board of directors - David would come in saying that some academy person - parent who wanted to buy the property for very high dollar amount - but when questioned he would never divulge who the person was - how many he told that story to I do not know but I could never get him to divulge who the person was thus I knew no one really wanted the property for 'high dollar' as he claimed over and over each time. Why he done it is beyond me - maybe he wanted to try to make me think the property was "valuable"; who knows really his reasoning behind it.

Then there was the figment of his imagination that he told me that some one on the East Shore had offered to pay our way to Scotland etc. to visit his native land and birth place furnishing all expenses to there, while there and back,. I know one of those BIG WHITE LIES - no rather YARNS - Truth is I never believed it - :-), it was just one of his fish tales or yarns made him feel IMPORTANT, I guess! it would of been nice - I could of delved into the family history first hand myself maybe - visiting libraries, grave yards to see what I could of dug-up on the Scottish ancestors. I had the outline bought and paid for, a starting place.

The 20th of Aug 1990. I had taken Susie to South Bend school shopping and when we arrived at the back door little David greeted us "there was something wrong with dad this afternoon; he had refused to let him call older sister Eunice - I made them both walk to beach on their own power but to stop by and tell Nancy to come down - she sat with me for an hour or so and her dad and he promised her he would go to the doctor the next day - but he would not - instead he went back to work for Kreuzberger's that afternoon through Bennett's in the afternoon. The next morning I walked to Adler's for coffee etc. had also stopped on way home at Cactus Charlie's to tell Eunice about her dad that morning and told her he would be home (he had only went to Hansen's to have coffee with the boys) still and I would be there shortly as I had to stop at Andy's to get one of the kids something for school. Cheryl had informed me her grandfather was just fine - and nothing was wrong with him - and that the next time her mother was to be the first to know - I informed her that her grandfather came first - the doctor, the ambulance and what ever the doctor said went came first - and others even my kids would be the last to know until he was under the care of EMT's, doctor or to a medical facility and under medical treatment. I had arrived home not to find them arrived yet and David wanting to go to Winamac alone to go find a wrought railing he had the boys deliver to Bennett's brother in Winamac for repair - but was deliver wrong place - I tried to get him take the car and let me drive but he insisted on driving using the excuse the wrought Iron railing would not fit in the truck of the car (it would of) - and on way the home made some weird remark. When we got home the phone rang it was Eunice informing me I was/we were not home and should of been all I said was her dad wanted to go to Winamac and why and asked her if I should of let him go alone as he had planned and hung up. It was either at lunch that day, Wednesday or the day he died - I seen a tear trickling down out of the corner of his eye. He never said anything - I never gave it any special thought; but since then I have and wondered about it.

Last ride on the fire truck.

The day he died - the 23rd August he said that he wanted a pot of Mulligan stew so I went to Park n Shop and got the stuff to make it a chuck roast, canned tomatoes, head of cabbage, 3 lbs of onions, 10 pounds of potatoes, carrots, celery - but it had not cooked long enough to be tender to eat for the noon meal - - he never got his Mulligan Stew - some of it was given away and the rest was frozen for me to eat later on as the kids never liked it and would not eat it - - dad always gave them money to go eat out somewhere else to eat when we had it! That also went for anything they decided they did not like to eat too.

I thought then and still think today that if he had not taken that job in Plymouth and had not met up with the "bitch on roller skates" that he would of lived longer - but he did not want to go back up there to work - but he refused to tell her he no longer wanted to finish the job - he kept taking all the small odd jobs around the lake and anything Bennett's needed done . He refused to tell her he no longer wanted to finish the project and yet he was at a point he could of very easily as he had finished all the aritchetural planned brick side walks which she had changed many times and to suit her specifications and not the specification of the aritchetural plan she had presented to David for the estimate of the job. She had paid thousands of dollars for an aritchetural plan of garden and sidewalks and was forever changing the design on David. He done work that me and the workers never had seen him do before just to keep her mouth shut and keep her from "bitching it was not the way it was done" - then why hire a mason to do the job - why did she not do it herself – maybe I would of had a husband and the kids would of had a father for a few more years? This was even causing friction between the workers a themselves and David as they done the work as David had taught them to do it, he would leave the job site come back and start on them that they were not doing it right - it was just a no win situation' except for the "bitch on roller skates" for she got the job done how she wanted it done - I often wondered how long it stood up. David thought it was job to end all jobs I think - but truthfully he would of never stopped working - he proved it . The boys insisted on going up the day of the funeral (after the funeral was over) or day after the funeral to clean up the job site - they said it needed to be done - even tho there was a trash dumpster there - they got hold of Leon Bennett got his dump truck and went up there and cleaned up the site for me - rather for David. I went up and seen what they had meant - had a run in with her demanding the last payment back - which had went for the boys labor, the last payment on the bricks etc. How I got safely home I never know - but I did I can only remember pulling into Bennett's and asking for Leon - I was devastated, I was angry and knew I needed help because of her threats. I do blame that job on his death; who knows he may of not of lived much longer - but at least before he started working up there he was taking his medicine every other day only missing an ccasional dose - he never had taken medicine in his life except maybe for an aspirin then all of a sudden on 23 September 1989 was forced into taking medication and having to have blood drawn every so often to check for the level of digoxin in his system...he also refused to tell Dr. Deery anything - he always told him everything was fine - he lied to him about taking his medicine properly - his last visit would of caught the lower level of the digoxn in his blood but he lucked out the blood testing machine was not working that day and he swore to Dr. Deery he was taking his medication faithfully!

He had also drawn plans up for a fireplace and some other work in Attica, Indiana for the Curtis/Henderson family but opted to take the Plymouth job first because it seemed to be the "Golden Goose" it was to be the job to end all jobs ... or so he thought... maybe it was but not in the way he wanted it to be.

I had truthfully wished he had not taken that "Golden Goose" the job to end all jobs ... I had always hoped he would be around for David's and Susie's graduation days; that after they were out of High School we would have time to travel to Florida or back out west - the kids and I ceased going to Florida in 1986 our last trip was December 1985, to spend Christmas with mom and her sister since we could not go back the month after dad died (nov. 1984). Then we went on to Ft. Myers Beach to be with his fishing buddies as we had always done.

I had always dream of making the front porch into a sunroom or open room that could be living space - but not till after the kids wee gone as they did not have to clean after themselves - under their beds was all their junk and all their home work papers - I would just open up the fireplace screen - and sweep everything to it and then light a match - the only things that were salvaged were their clothes, the pocket change, and my music tapes which Susie loved to play but then only would toss to the floor in or out of the plastic case - David was into that heavy metal C_ _ p like allot of the other kids at the time; so he did not bother my music tapes but even some of his wee tossed around but they were never salvaged.

After David's death, the funeral was over with - there was little sleep for me - I could not sleep - i went till i dropped. I cleaned the carport out of the musty cardboard boxes, dozen of more waders which I had proudly salvaged and saved and was willing to give to the boys for their use only to be told they all had holes in them... so into the dumpster they went... along with hundreds of ketchup , mustard, wine, whiskey, spice bottles etc that David had dug-up and saved but none had any writing on them the paper labels to identify them were long gone and they too went to the dumpster...and allot of other 'junk' and 'trash" he had stashed...possible of value were some old telephone directories of culver but they were wet, musty and mildewed... there was nothing salvageable to speak in the carport...the only item that was - was a Bloomfield jack aka Hy-jack and I sat it in the southwest corner of the carport behind the lip of the cement blocks thinking it it was safe and protected but it came up being stolen from me; i have an idea of where it possibly went as David used it when he formed seawalls; but i can not prove it even to this day.

The week following David's death Leon Bennett asked if I knew where these plans were and since I was cleaning out the carport had figured I had thrown them away - I had not - I had not even got to the point of cleaning out his truck - I was concerned about the carport and all the stuff there that was out in the open - all either in the end went into the dumpster I had rented or onto a scrape iron pile someone came and collected for free (I really did not care at that point - 7 shovels without handles, ?? hoe head, ?? rake heads; rubber waders that leaked - I had saved them for the boys - but they took them right to the dumpster; boxes of old bottles with no writing on them or labels - wet mildewed rotted paper and cardboard. So finally I relented - opened up the truck up long enough to go searching behind and the seat and through the buckets, milk crates in back - and finally in a bucket of tools - I knew what I was looking for it was a light pink, yellow, blue or green file folder - when I finally found it I called down to Bennett's made sure he was there and hand delivered it. The boys ended up doing the job for Leon buying the cement mixer that I would never use - it was not it top condition - it was a Sears special I think even one of the mixer blades in it was gone and they carried off my extension cord that did not go with it - that was for the snow blower and weed eater because David had cabbaged onto mine instead of going buying another because a raccoon which was caged dragged the cord into the metal wire caged chewed into in several places while awaiting Bud Lewis' arrival to tote him out into the country side - he ate all his chicken bones gotten from the Corner Tavern - destroyed a 100 plus foot electric cord and lived to snicker about it all! Yes it was plugged into the electric.

David would never let me work out side the home - I had to help when need to run for materials, or after hours to check on the job sites' especially when the job involved forms and cement seawalls. I was always told the kids did not have to clean up after themselves that was what I was there for...that was all I was good for - and all I could do or was allowed to do besides repairing the house, and mowing the lawn up till 1983. That was when he got sick in July and had to have surgery and he hired Forrest 'Forey' Houghton to mow and from then on I was never allowed to mow again until David died on 23 Aug. 1990; or till 'Forey' got ill and did not do much mowing - David claimed it was Forey's job not mine!

One family member would always remind me every so often they were glad that I was down there taking care of dad and not them - what does one say with an attitude like that? I just lived with and done what was expected of a wife...

There was a couple of people who died after David did and all I heard how "wonderful people" were - calling on the phone, coming to the house etc. especially the minister... there was none of that for me I was to proud to ask, to call, I oh if I was in a public place, church and what could one say... I was living, walking and talking that's all that mattered; I had set my goal long ago - just to make sure the kids got their high school education and graduated . The kids were in school and they had there friends and they stayed away from the house it seemed only to come home long enough to eat, drop off books, change clothes and take a bath or shower and they were off and running again i would work around the house or yard till i could not stand it any longer - I would talk long walks through the Indian trails, down along the lake front of the Academy lake front and down the East side and back; if to tired I would get in the car and drive around the lake looking at all the cottages David workedat remembering...wondering why he had not left us provided for better than he did...only the social security payments mine ceasing when Susie turned 16 two months after he died, and theirs their graduation our of high school and all the time there was a family member claiming 'i was set for life'.... The only real friend I had I stayed away from so that the family would or could be family towards her but..., this I regret and can never make up to her and her family

After David's death 23 August 1990 I started this merely as a history of the cottagers and cottages and lake - to have something to occupy my mind and keep me active as I had lost interest in my genealogy - as I could not sit at the computer and work and not remember the past year - I used my genealogy as an escape from reality - to close out what was happening around me so I could survive so I could be there - I shut my emotions and feelings down and eventually off - just coping with each day as it came. September 1989 [when he was diagnosed with congestive heart the seemed not to accept it - not wanting to take his medication properly]... he also kept stating "something is wrong" but he would not express this to Dr. Deery only to me and certain family members who would badger me to "get him to a specialist" - which I could not do with out a referral from Dr. Deery and David's consent - thus he did what he wanted to do...

Mel Walter (deceased) was working with David until the last month and had worked for him on and off over the years. Many worked for David - for us over years - Mickey McFarland, 'Russ' Russell J. Salyers (he also worked with him at the Academy and took over David's position there when he retired) deceased, Frank Maulky deceased, Paul Kelly, Rodney Kemple, Steve Brasch, Gary brasch, 'Murph' Murphy Wynn, Chuck Robbins, David M. Burns, Rickey Burns, David M. Burns Jr., Joe Jimenez (I believe one year for a while), Scott Croy, Gary Yeazel, ? Boyne, ? Mc Vicker just to name a few there were many who came and went over the years and of course David even used some of Bennett's employees over the years in a pinch. Other names may or will eventually come to mind. Others were just one day help when cement had to bee wheel barrowed from a distance to the lake front to pour a seawall - that required at least 3-4 just manning wheel barrows and with David and at least 2-3 others manning the area of the seawall pouring - it was quite an operation to see one prepared for forming, the forming of it and then the actual pouring then the removing of the forms and finish coat to the seawall. The days of cement pours were long and continuous hours until the pour was completed - it meant getting sandwiches and drinks to David and the boys so they could eat their noon meal on the run - while pouring cement. There was the 'after hours' of David and I running back to the job site to check on it whenever cement was poured in any form or shape. There was the time he came in with a wide band of grease mark on his one upper arm and bruised - he and been pinned between the loader bucket and an object - which could of resulted in his arm being severed off; the only near accident that I know of ever occurring from his work. His famous saying - "I'll be there Tuesday" to put off those whose jobs he had promised to do - during the evening hours and week-ends when not working he would escape to the middle of the lake to fish to avoid the phone calls to leave me to handle them.

The kids had there friends after their dad's death and they were with them more than they were at home - the house was a lonely place to be. I had started repairing and painting the plaster walls so I continued doing that - cleaning - stripping up old tile flooring down to the old bare wood floors - stripping out the carpet that need replaced - but no money to do it with and no money to clean it properly with it - plain old fashioned wood floors were allot easier to clean - got some cheap area rugs to cover the bad areas. After the funeral expense were paid then replaced David's chair he was in when he died - and got some other pieces as what we had was old and not well taken care of since the kids were allowed to do what ever they wanted - reasoning "they are only kids, your are around to clean up after them, that's what you are around for". I guess I should not of let them go and do as they pleased after their dad died but there was no stopping them - they were allowed to do it while their dad was alive they did not have to listen or obey mom - if mom said 'No' they ran to dad and got to do whatever anyway - they never knew the meaning of 'No' they never really knew what it was to do without - they probably felt the did do with out after their dad died but they money was just not there to hand out on a daily basis behind my back like he done while he was alive. There is always the story of Susie ice skating out on to the middle of the lake one winter - skating around all the fishermen just barely missing their lines - her dad gave her a dollar or two and told her to get home - the story is by the time some called dad 'cheap' she ended up with over $10 and when he came home I was accused of telling her to go out on the ice to him to get money from him - SORRY I was not that dumb - I never cared for going out on the ice so why would I send any of my kids out there if I would not do it myself?

January 1991 - I re-entered Ancilla College full time - after being gone since May of 1972; and I also started part-time work at Miller's Merry Manor thanks to the help of Ida De Sabatine, a 'class of 1970' member who was working there part-time also. We worked the same week-ends and it was great to finally get to know a former classmate, I never really got to know her in school like many of the others from Lieters ford and Monterey unless they were in my classes and then I did not 'pal around' with any of them - ones I did were Linda Snapp and Diane Myers; and Linda was and off and on thing as she decided when you were good enough for her she could never be friends it seemed with 2 people at the same time so for so many weeks or months it was me and then it was Diane Myers or someone else and if she was 'paling around' with Diane then she could not have anything to do with me. So basically all my school years I a loner, there were 2 others when they attended Culver Sandy Harness and Flossie Branham, and they were mainly grade school off and on.

May 1991 one finally came and David graduated out of high school - I can still see his 'dog look' expression sitting there amongst his classmates - I know tho he never said that he wished his dad was there he did - I foolishly sent him all his graduation pictures and the video tape - his grandmother got the other one - where it is I have no idea as when my mother died in April 2009 my mother's sister confiscated all the pictures out of her nursing home room before my brother & his wife could get there to collect her belongings - he had his graduation party at the house and not many of the family showed up which was fine; other friends of his dad showed up.

I remember laying in bed one night and Susie was yet to come home - there was a wreck out on Sage Road (Old State Road 17) - the police, ambulance etc. had all went roaring by the house - I really did not think much of it till it came across that a 16 year-old girl was involved in it - I remember laying there hold ing my breath waiting for someone to come to the door to get me - tell me it was Susie - - finally she came bouncing in - something was said and she flippantly told me it was not her and I and no cause to worry and off she went to the bathroom.

In late 1991 and into spring 1992 I started cleaning up the back lot - tearing down the old chicken coops - burning small piles as I went or carrying it all to the outdoor incinerator that was falling apart - and when I had not more use for it I knocked it down too and all that remained was the cement pad. then I started stoning the bottom half of the house that David had refused to brick - I would work till I was exhausted and could no longer move. I mixed my own cement, loaded the wheel barrel full of rock ad hauled them to the spot I was working myself. If it was too big of a rock and i could not lift it into the wheel barrel I would lay it on its side roll it in and then try to roll the wheel barrel back upright - if it could not be done - then I got down on my hands and knees and rolled the 'big rock" to the front yard one roll at a time often time I had an audience of a couple of neighbors standing in the middle of Hawkins Court watching me - then one offered a plastic sled - i found a wide board to place either over the small of my back or my stomach and then placed the rope over that board and then tugged and pulled like a 'work horse or mule' the big rocks to the front yard one at a time. One time I remember David telling me I was lazy etc. etc. and a few other things because the dishes were still in the kitchen sink dirty and not in the dishwasher and then he went in and stood in the living room window looking out smiling watching me work my ass off - never offering to mix cement, get a load of rock or anything. Another time he was with Kelly Peterson and I was getting ready to go get a load of rock - Kelly took the wheel barrel from me asked me where the rock were went loaded them and wheeled them back to me - all the time David just stood in the front yard waiting for Kelly, watching me work..

1993 I started to go to the dances at the Eagles with friends - dances where not allowed to be attended while I was a kid and at home.. I was not allowed to attend my Jr-Sr proms. David would never go to any dances and would not stay at any wedding reactions etc. that had dances for long; but I heard from others he was a good dancer.

Graduation day from Ancilla College

May 1993 came and Susie also made it through graduation - she was not so down, gloomy, sad looking - but too I know she probably only wanted her father there - mom did not matter - she had her graduation party at the house and not many of the family and only of few others showed up the same invitation list as David had been sent out - which was fine, I guess I should of expected there would not of been as many. She barely made an appearance and went then on to other graduation parties of her classmates or to her future husbands Jason Weldon's party. Someone told I should of went to Jason's graduation party - but I had no invitation to it (verbal or written, and I was always taught that you did not go unless properly invited!), plus I had no idea where they lived and I had Susie's either to prepare for and set-up and be there to greet the guests that showed up - when it was over there was the clean up

I gave Susie & Jason my wedding band set and her dads ring I had bought him and she had it done over as there wedding set. The one leaf had broke off some how it contained a small diamond chip - some how I found it - I placed it in a small bag and put it away for safe keeping till there was money to have it repaired; but it never came about and then where the rings were re-sized began to crack open and there was no money to have them repaired so I placed rings with the leaf tip. David wore his still on occasion. as an after thought - maybe David's ring should of went to David but I figured with the gold in it and the small diamond it had it would be enough to have the wedding set re-designed and mounted; thus saving some money for them.

Susie moved out in June 1993 - and David went off to Ball State in August 1993. Susie only would come in to see David mainly. After he was off to college only time she would come to the house was to tell me he was coming home f or the weekend. He would come home long enough to throw his things into the house - do his laundry rest of time he was out and about Culver with his friends. She did come by and have me help take 'tinker' the cat the cat to her house; it was her cat to begin with - as she nabbed on it before 1982 and mom ended up caring for her most of the time.

Oct 1993 I began a job in Plymouth as assistant manager of a Gas/connivance store, it was long hours and it seemed that I was being used as a scapegoat for things going on and when I worked as 'manager' the register help would not show-up and the manager would have to be called in and she would put me back on register duty and I would have to work from 5:30 - to 3 instead of the 5:30 to 1. There was other things that went on and some of the bookkeeping tactics I did not approve of - one of which was each gal was allowed to be over $10 on the register and if any went above that amount was divided amongst anyone who was not "over 10' for the day. The manager also had a bad habit of changing my accounting sheet or re-doing it as I would not divided the 'over amounts' between the girls.

On 16th December I was at a friends house when 450 gallons of propane blew; they generated their own electric with generators. The house burned to the ground. There was a 80-100 foot bright red-orange flame from the propane, and I with no camera, it reminded me of the movie 'Towering Inferno' who we got out and not inferred and burned is beyond me but we did. Life took on a whole new meaning...

It was the first year since David died that I could afford Christmas gifts for the kids. I forget what I actually got Susie but to this day i will never forget what I bought David - a pair of $16-20 pair of Levi's - Why/ because he tried them on and then had to looked at himself in a mirror - the only mirror was the dress mirror and nothing high enough to stand on so he stood on the foot board of the bed - rather the spindle part and broke it in half. When I found I was told to 'let it be' I bit my tongue and stood and cried my eyes out. David and I had bought the bedroom suit some time in 1983 after her had had surgery. The old bed had been there when I moved in, it and a hole 6 inch in the middle clear through the mattress and for years the springs kept poking through the mattress and poking me, I kept a pair of wire cutters in the headboard on a permanent basis and when one would poke out during the night I would get up pull lit out as far as I could and then cut it off. Well one night it was not my side of the bed - and it poked David and he decided it was time for a new bed no questions asked! So I went out to Bill's furniture and picked a bedroom suite out as I was told to do.

I have been told that I am selfish and un-caring by certain family members - guess I was and guess I am. I guess selfishness is giving away all my genealogy for "free", doing this site and other genealogy sites (InGenWeb and UsGenWeb projects) for "free" just because I love genealogy and history and want to preserve some of it without compensation other than a "thank you". I guess back when - doing without so the kids could have or others in the family was selfish; cashing in my small annuity the year David died to pay the bills, the workers and have food was selfish; and in a pinch giving up the piggy bank change went for same when it was meant to fix up the house this was being selfish... Selfish was medical and dental care after to kids as there was no insurance to cover doctor's fees, tests, only hospitalization which was worthless as there was only one time I used it on an outpatient basis as was demanded and they only paid $200-250 of over a $1000.00 blood gas test bill when I had a lung infection of some type; he would never look into any type of medical dental or eye car insurance for the family - it was always done on a pay as you used basis’s so I done without unless desperately needed.

I guess I was very selfish - by not looking out for my future - hoarding all the money I could get my hands on, or refusing to pay the bills and stashing it way...by staying home and obeying David's orders "I could not work as long as he was alive." Or refusing to have work hired done that I could do - I would not hire lawn mowing (but David did from 1983 on and I was told I could not mow the lawn it was Forey's job).

I remember going to several places in town seeking employment being turned down - one was a restaurant uptown just be a dishwasher or kitchen help (all I really knew since I was a waitress from 1970-June 1972 at the Coffee Shop and we waited tables, washed the dishes and done the scrubbing and mopping too) and the owner turned me down telling me I had to go and get a job out at Walker's - which only hired "qualified , experienced factory workers' , I did not qualify as I had never worked in a factory. I did not want to be a waitress as it would of 'embarrassed family' as they told everyone i was "set for life and had no worries" - plus I was to old - in my mind as all that seemed to be wanted was the "younger girls'. I need the work history - somewhere where I could basically walk to, if the weather was nice and very short car travel to curb expenses; no one locally was willing to give me that chance, opportunity.

I also tried for an lowly office job at the Culver Military Academy such as filing, computer data entry etc. - first time I was basically ridiculed - just before I began the typing test she went over to the typewriter took out the correction ribbon held it between her thumb and forefinger of each had stretched out in front of her saying to the effect "I have to do this you know some people cheat" and then being asked "Do you really want to do this right now?" ( I just clamped my mouth shut and bit my tongue hard!; being told even tho I knew computer, business skills, bookkeeping, filing etc. (self taught with David's occupation and working around the lake) I had no education to back it up so I was unqualified and she could not hire me but each time I was turned down But that did not matter and after i had the So I went back to Ancilla and started with the computer course and business courses. But I kept going back every time I finished a semester anyway to see if I could get some type of office job there but each time I was refused time and time again, I tired the whole time I attended Ancilla and for a few months after May 1993 and just gave up - the final straw came with the academy and its personnel department was when I was told by this personnel department person that the education now did not really count or matter!?@#?@!?????? and that I had to accept a part-time job in the janitorial department or kitchen mess hall ; and that was all she was ever willing to give me! I even have one or two to this day tell me I worked at the academy right after David died - I do not know where they got there information but it is very very I in-correct!

Another incident just shortly after David died on 23 August 1990 and before Davey graduated in May of 1991 was another who shall remain nameless offered to buy the property for $10,000.00 and told me I had to move myself and the kids to Las Vegas and work as a waitress/bar hop out there; this was done in the middle of Adler's which was uncalled for and not proper in my mind but what did I know. WHY? My kids were Seniors and Sophomores in high school, had their friends in Culver, had attended Culver since the beginning or their school career - and wanted to graduate from Culver; besides Culver was their home - they had just had enough trauma in their lives let alone uprooting them from the only life they knew. It was my home also I have never lived any other place that I remember - my parents moved to outside of Culver when I was 1 year and 1 month, ?? days, as was told we came or dad did on Thanksgiving day.

So I settled for any odd part time job that would have me, Manpower what ever - yet trying to find work that related to Computer science and Business administration and kept getting told "my qualifications did not meet theirs" or "Do you really want to travel this far to work?" - It all boiled down to what they did not want to say and put in writing because of discrimination laws - I was over 40 and I had no work history except for the few years I worked at the Coffee Shop there in Culver from 1970-1972; and none of the odd jobs I was getting qualified me for anything but manual labor - Manpower refused to send me to jobs relating to computers, business and office even tho that’s what I tested for when I signed up with them and listed my college courses and major etc.

At least I did prove that I COULD DO IT - I graduated Ancilla with a Computer Science and Business Administration Associates degree tho it never has done me a bit of good in getting employment in those fields or in office work - in that way it was a waste of time effort, money, scholarship money and grants BUT in another sense it made me feel good about myself which I have trouble doing even now today. I did not have the "EXPERIENICE" to back it up and NO ONE WOULD GIVE ME THE OPPERTUNITY to get or obtain any - only getting "my qualifications did not meet theirs" or "Do you really want to travel this far to work?" -

It still do what I can in genealogy that is FREE - find FREE computer programs or those that come installed on the computer or given to me other wise and teach myself how to use them and become proficient in them - I self taught my self web page designing and still doing so - but again it is useless when it comes to finding employment because it is not backed-up by educational degrees - and I am to old to do that again and get no where with it.

Selfish is doing the InGenWeb sites; giving my genealogy research away free of charge to family friends, distant cousins. Selfish is doing the Lake Maxinkuckee website too I guess. But with it I keep up my old skills and yet learn new ones even tho they do not benefit me financially in any way and I learn new bits of history as I trudge along my path of research.

I am still hanging on to the house at Culver - why - because it is mine - because David left it to me -because I dreamed I would never leave it --- that I would died there ---

I dreamed that I would make the front porch into a sun porch/living area -- seems like a fantasy now. I at times wonder what he even left it to me - yet he did - - the last few months he kept telling me I would not have the house more than 6 months after he did as someone would steal it from me... he would never say who, why or how it was to come about...well its sure been a long 6 months! I should never have rented it in the mid 1990's but was talked into it by some of the Culver Eagle's members because a member needed a place to live - and it was inferred it was sitting there empty and it was being selfish to let it sit empty...well I wish I had been self, inconsiderate and whatever else - I would of been far better off if I had refused. I try not to cry each time I go there - into it - but if not outwardly I do inwardly - wonder what would of been if David would of lived just a few years longer - if he had left me provided for - if he had allowed me to work.... all the "ifs" that can't be changed...

I kept gathering up stuff we get from a good Samaritan shop to store to go to Goodwill to south Bend - such as dishes, pots & pans, etc. for up at the House at Culver anything that will help restore it - have found several stained glass ceiling lamp shades that need minor repair or that parts can be taken and a whole one made maybe if can find someone to do it - Yeah I love that type of stuff. But I wonder why I save it… why I even dream of saving, restoring the house and maybe living in it again.. at times I feel like its hopeless a foolish dream.

Spring 2009 is coming or is it? - Easter is too - the symbol of hope, resurrection and rejoicing is it??? We all definitely know the economy sucks - excuse my language - and I am sorry to say that we are not in a recession we are in a DEPRESSION - no one wants to admit it - go read the books on the "Great Depression" - this one has it BEAT by a mile - I done a term thesis on it - back when - it was to be limited to 3 pages - The reason it came about, the cause, the effect and the outcome - I had over 50 pages headed for 100 - I forget what I go it trimmed down to but I still have my paper on it - my parents lived through it - I heard their stories - the cream corn & fried potatoes & onions as a meal; for Sunday supper was peaches & cream and if you had that you were in 7^th heaven and had more more than others. I have several depression cookbooks where recipes were developed because of the "lack of" and there are wonderful stories and some pictures in them -

I am no longer to proud to ask for help in fact in am DESPERATE - All I want is my house that David gave me - maybe to be able to return to it in my old age probably before - tho I am feeling so much older than I am - we are going to need it as a second emergency residence as a friend is in the Miller's Merry Manor at Culver that I am caregiver for - as place to stay in bad weather near by during winter storms etc. (this winter is prime example in way). Now the other friend has went through open heart surgery [aortic valve replacement; right coronary artery bypass, left coronary artery branch by pass; .

I guess I am stupid for caring for others - whether anyone believes it I have always put my self last - I have no self confidence - I do not stand up for my self till its to late - or pushed to the point of non-return - I was never taught by my mother to stand up for my self, my rights - dad well he was "smart, quite, laid back" but he was domineered by mother because she had the "education" she had the "high-paying job" - he was not the one who ruled the house until pushed - he did not believe in un-fairness - - he worked long hard hours - I can remember him coming home after 9 or 10 p.m. from managing the service station to help me with my homework - - mother never did the only words from her was "I was going to be a registered nurse, she always berated me - her and dad were honor students in High School she could never understand why I barley made a "C" or passing grade maybe an occasionally "B" if it was a topic I liked or course I liked.

I am failure in her eyes - because I did not attend her nursing school, and become a registered nurse - I did not obey her commands and take my children and move to Florida with her - I was never taught to be callous or uncaring or if she tried I never learned - I easily exploded when pushed to far - I cry when someone condones me for who I am, what I do, and when I fail to please whom ever - I basically say "yes sir/mam" "no Sir/mam" - I have no confidence to fight back unless I am pushed to a very angered state - then my emotions take over and fail me. I let people run over me - I have very little self-confidence to fight back in person - it is hidden behind words - I feel and know that I always been a failure in my mother's eyes.

The house would sure be a nice place to be in the winter time nearer to the doctor's office, Plymouth etc and where good ambulance service is available for my friend - to be near my friend who is at Miller's I can walk there is necessary and would -

Every one comes before me and my wants, needs, health - that is what my mother instilled in me - you done what she said, what she wanted, she took what she wanted also after I went to work after high school - she used the "guilt" that she raised me, she provided for me and that I owed her. I was never really allowed to associate, join etc, there is a part of my childhood I lived that I hid and still do - that was never spoke of with my mother or father; or my Aunt, my mothers sister - I ask did they know? Did she hid it from Dad? Just who knew? I am digging for answers till I have these answers concerning that "family person in my life" I doubt if I ever will be a whole confident person - and I have reached the so-called "golden-era" of my life - I realize I may never know what I want to know yet I know part but yet I still need more to "connect the dots" of facts, information that I do not have - Oh well will just have to accept the way things was and are I guess. I am telling more than I probably should - and yet is the "so-called hidden secret" of families that can destroy a person - a person's confidence and I have had to live with it without knowing why, why me - why it was allowed.

ak on 16 ^th Dec. 1993 how we got out alive or un-hurt is beyond me but we did and I gave them a place to live and then I moved out with them and have been housekeeper, caregiver etc. ever since - at least its a roof over my head and food. They store clothes from a Good Samaritan store until there is enough for a Goodwill truck to come down from South Bend to pick up - so they are not either burned or pitched to a local landfill - from this comes all my clothing and shoes etc. I am not proud I wear all second hand clothing - like I did when I was in high school - most of my then came from a nurse my mother worked and traded rides with and lived on the academy campus and the dresses, skirts, blouses I wore came from her and another woman who's husband was connected with the academy.

July 2004 - for two days in the mornings when I woke up I coughed up blood. It started on Monday morning a quite after a few minutes. Tuesday morning it started in and would not stop - got scared friends took me to Pulaski Memorial and spent over 3 hours there for blood tests, x-ray/MRI without contrast - as back in 1968 I had a reaction to an x-ray dye so they took precaution giving me medicine to help alleviate a possible allergic reaction and I went back for the contrast on Wednesday - but we know more got a mile from the hospital and i began coughing up huge amounts of blood again - no did not turn back and return to hospital - why just to spend another 3 hours there and be sent home - it stopped, - they sent me home with an antibiotic too - after the final MRI had to wait a week to find out results. Again like in 1982 the results came back nothing could be found - - but if I was worried I could go to Valpo and have a trans... something done but was told it was expensive - so I decided against it - Did not wake up coughing up blood on the third day - and thank goodness nothing has occurred since - I just try to be careful a when i feel a cold or pleurisy coming on. I'll live till I die - we have no control over that no matter what we do. after this experience I can not see dishing out money for doctor and medical test fees for nothing just be told nothing could be found and to get sick again... -

I can't see it either when the doctors, and medical personnel will not listen to friends and family - a friend because of this in nov 2004 had a full right side stroke and we took her into the hospital ER on late Saturday night only for them to ship her home on Monday morning; then took her back to ER on Wednesday after noon only for them to send her home being told to watch her and wait for an hour or so before bring her back in if she started experiencing headaches; Thursday night we sent her by ambulance as she was having terrific headaches you could see her face in pain, turn read and clutched her head and hugged it again they sent her home the next day this time the doctor telling the daughter all we could do was bring her in they would stabilize her and send her home... Sunday morning she was a total Zombie and we took her back in and they refused to transfer her down to Methodist in Indianapolis where she has carotid surgery earlier in the month telling us all it was "low sodium" finally at my wits end I called directly to the doctor myself (each time we had turned in the letter for her appointment on dec. 2nd with all the phone no's, fax emergency numbers) needless to say it was to late - she had a spell while in transient and then again in the very early morning hours and spent 2 weeks in nureo intensive an progressive care and since then has been in the nursing home... so I am not a fond believer in our medical care in America today

Sometime between Jan 2005 and today my partial gave up and the front facing broke one was plastic and other the original porcelain from 196- (Dr. John Oldham made it);iI will not give $169.99 per facing when the whole partial only cost about $175. the only time have went to the dentist in the last 34 years was when a a toot 'hurt' ; oh like I said earlier there was that time in the mid to late 1980's that I got some dental work done when the kids first entered school and were required to have dental check-ups and a signed form from the dentist and David built the planter out front of the Culver dental clinic - he done the work in trade for it BUT the kids came first - mom done without, i got what ever was left of the balance of the work. I remember the one time i had tooth filled because of filling bad or missing and it ended up hurting worse - I had to go to bed and by 6 p.m if could not lift my head off the pillow - David came in from work and found me there and end result was the next day which happened to be a Saturday and my birthday it was pulled -the next day was my birthday - David did call the dentist as i could not even do that I was in such pain - he went got the prescribed tyneol with codeine and another prescription which was for pain and swelling which I down the contents of both bottles by the 10 a.m. appointment - was still in pain and but I had to take myself to the dentist and drive, David offered to care for the kids at home while I went! I am in need to teeth being pulled but can not afford to have it done - they hurt once and while but its tolerable so I suffer it out - and will continue to do so.

I am frustrated - the XP unit went "Dead" the last Friday of August 2008 - - - found an old 95 unit and got it to run - - - was given an 98SE but it has its a debugger on it that wants to de-bug everything on the internet and all pages I work on and adobe flash wants to install then tells me it can't - I am getting now where fast -- only angry, more frustrated and trying not to sit here in front of the dam thing and bawl---I do have allot of stuff in the background that needs to be worked on and up

SORRY trying my best --- I ache all the time... I have no medical or dental care and probably never will have. and really do not care as its been that way all my life expect in t extreme pain... now i just tolerate it and keep going.

Oh I am told I can't get sick - - I got to be strong - I have to hang in - well this gal is getting old, tired, frustrated, disillusioned and to the point she don't want to hang in, be strong... and she is selfish she wants to be sick! - ITS MY TURN after what 19 years - no - after 36 years when David was born - but I can't afford to be sick there is no medical insurance, no money to pay medical bills, medicine and I do not fully trust doctors anymore anyway - if I am sick I keep on going like the energizer bunny - I got too - I got to be strong - I have to be there for whomever...the way it has been ever since I was a teenager its never changed - it was instilled in me - pounded into me so to speak by my mother.

Just recently (Nov 2009) I was again told I could draw from David's Social Security and should of been drawing from it...well I can't just yet...maybe in 4 another years MAYBE - If I am around...If Social Security still exists...If there is anything left and benefits for me as a widow...

I have probably said to much - but I have basically lived all my life to please my mother, to please others of my deceased husbands family - to please Culver - please my children - but it seems I did not succeeded at it - I have silent born the guilt - I have silently cried in the night wondering why? - Why me? and then in being told that I was and am "selfish" because I tried to stand up for my self, be myself, and wish for better life - opportunities for myself - - I was only to please my mother, my husband - my children - they came first before me - my feelings - what I wanted to do and needed came last and always has , then I guess then that I am truly a selfish - greedy person.

I felt guilty when I purchased my first computer system a Kaypro 2- 5 1/4 floppy system I even almost seen if I could cancel the order before it came - as a financial set-back had happen, so I could have the money that was pre-paid for it for bills, food etc. Then it came and iI even considered sending it back; but decided not to - it was my money I had saved up for it. When ii opened the door and saw the 3-4 boxes I wondered what I had gotten my self into - I unpacked it all - set it all up piece by piece and then went to work trying to learn how to use it and make it work; i never went anywhere to take classes . nor did I ask anyone for help I done it all by trail and error. I had that computer for 13+ years and taught my self computer programs one at a time

I felt guilty when I pursued genealogy but I learned of my family that my mother and father would not talk of - I found great aunts and uncles I never knew existed and I learned more of our great United States history to through it. Thanks to it I have my Great Grandfather McKee's civil War Diaries.

I felt guilty when I went back to Ancilla in 1991 - tho it proved I could do it, tho it was worthless to me in getting a job it did not make the difference as another had said it would. It was just another self-accomplishment under my belt with no recognition and no value except to my personal esteem, my selfishness so some would say.

Yes I have been told I am a selfish, conceded person - only caring for myself and no one else - well then I guess I am but I sure have nothing to show for it but a house that at present is not livable - that's a whole other story of being selfish and greedy on my part...

I was at friends when their house blew up from propane gas le Mother Died 3 April 2009 - My brother (Steve) told me she fell she was in assisted living and was going to be in full nursing home care - she refused to eat and refused to take her medicine - she was a Registered nurse so she knew all to well what the consequences was - she always did say she was no one was going to care for her and she was not going into a nursing home and live out her life - thus she done what she wanted.

My attitude of nursing homes - well David always claimed he would go buy a new rope and...before he would ever go into one. Well I hate to say it I truly second that opinion after the last few years.

My hopes, dreams... at one time I thought it would be nice to own a lowly place on the lake while David was alive - he loved to fish - he loved the lake - - there were a couple of places that intrigued me - Billy Osborn’s home on the east side as David claimed he done the limestone work there; the old cherry Villa on Mill street why I do not know; on the west side it was the only Bennett property - the redwood colored house I was inside it when Bennett's owned it; the other would be what was the robeson place on South shore because all the stone work outside and the inside fireplaces were David’s work; another place that intrigues me was another South Shore that was the Kraft place it was limestone...but I knew it was an impossible reality back then - and even more so today we were and I am just a common person.... dreams, hopes now well nothing really I am to the point I can no longer hope...dream...wish... just barely surviving, hanging in and on but I do try to continue to wish and dream its for my house... and for this site (Lake Maxinkuckee) and my wish list for it.

Is life what I expected it to be or of it - HELL NO - I had hoped that David and I would have time for our selves after David and Susie was out of High School - - - that possibly we could travel possible by our selves if only to Florida and back ( Ha Ha knew that would never happen any way ) - - - Funny I believed in family... I was told by his grand daughter, that I was never considered a Burns by them - and was not to use the name .... makes me feel like I was used, unappreciated by husband, children, and family...I hear the echoing words of one family member "I am glad it was you down there taking care of him and not me', but of course it was never said when anyone was around to hear it other than me ...
thus no I do not have any self esteem, self confidence, etc. etc. over the years it has all been taken away from me, beaten out of me whatever other terms you want to use... I was to do as asked by them or others what they wanted...not to question...

Maybe I should of defied David and worked all those years outside the home but I did not - I do not even know what caused him to say it but it was only a few short weeks before he died and we were standing in the dining room and he looked at me and said - "You can only go to work after I am dead and gone." I had never said anything about going to work - tho I often had thought of it since 1986 when times got rough; the kids were in school full time and during the summer months and after school they were seldom home as they were allowed to run all over town and who knows where with their friends they never had to ask permission or say were they were going to be - it is one thing they can say that they never had a curfew! David was either working or out fishing.

In talking with a friend via internet - I can finally sum my life up - my values after 59 years - mother, dad, husband - - - - I was brought up with the stories of the GREAT DEPRESSION ERA I was born 1951, dad 1908 and mom 1920 - they lived through it - dad walked to school and walked home from school both UPHILL and DOWNHILL and in heat, rain, snow and sleet.... (which would be true) - mother well she lived in town on the main street/ highway State Road 69 yet she probably walked to school in the heat, rain, snow and sleet tho it was not uphill nor down hill :-) ; Mother voiced her opinions while I grew up at home; forget father he was silent unless extremely provoked into saying his peace aka - me - I am my father's daughter as they would say - husband you done as he said , you did not work our side the home a woman's place was in the home, not working else where and you done as he said or dictated! Mother - in my opinion was the Epitome or the ultimate icon of today's "woman liber" she worked outside the home - she done what she wanted sad thing she never instilled those qualities in me - mother's theory of teaching to me was " I was a girl and that I had all the time in the world to do what i wanted to do but my brother did not..." while growing up at home he got to do just anything he wanted too and me I had to stay at home or do within in school or church hours unless someone less pushed it - or unless it was a "grade requirement' for school. I was never taught that I was or could have my own views, opinions...when I tried to assert them I was basically told I knew nothing....a result is low self esteem and self-confidence .... I can honestly say I was not taught how to have any self esteem or self confidence - and even today if i try to stand-up for what I feel is right , try to voice my opinion ....

Someone the other day told me I have sold myself short (or words to that effect) - maybe I have ... probably I always will... what I thought of life to be and that family consisted of has been shattered over the years... now its just existing, surviving dreaming of maybe having the house back the way it was but that seems impossible, what I dreamed of doing with it was only a dream... but i still hand on to those ideas why I do not know...

I've built a wall, not to block anyone out...but to see who loves me enough as I am to climb over it and accept me for who I am. I am now trying not to hang onto an impossible dream it seems of saving my house...

I have been told I am qrazy for doing this and plus ruining my health by spending hours here at the computer late at night and that no one will benefit or pick up the research and carry on what I have done or benefits from it - its all a labor of love and done for free; even to my personal family research and research I done for family and friends for free - guess I am ... but it what keeps me alert, and going even tho there is no financial gain from it and only an occasional thank you... or If you wish to Donate for the up keep of the site you can via PayPal for the upkeep of the site(s) you can via PayPal. or email me and will send you address

One of my biggest goals was to try save and restore my at least 115 - 120 year old house. It was an unrealistic and stupid dream but I just could not give up some type of hope - Culver is in my heart - the house is a part of me and who I am... now its gone. was told dollar wise it was unrealistic to restore - was told the fireplace could not even be saved that it woudld not met code and would not withstand the demolition - it came down hard It took less than an hour to reduce it to a pile of rubble

This says it all... not sure what I feel.... disappointment... failure.... 2020 was a gaint roller coaster ride of emotional feelings... some still exist. Besides I am caring for a friend who has Stage IVB non-small cell Lung cancer, along with Metastasis tumors supraclavicular lymph nodes his armpits , on his shoulder blades, left upper arm - He had 10 radiation followed by a not so good CT scans in Decemebr 2021 that found 2 Metastasis lesions in the brain the lymph node tumors were continuing to grow and so another 19 radiation treatment from mid Decemeber 2021 till January 8th 2022. Another set of Ct's about March 24th and they were not good either - was to be up for another clinical study but raidly declined. At this point the lymph node tumors were continuing to grow and busting open no matter what the size was He he passed away on April 24th, 2022

courageous battle with Stage IVB Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the lung and multiple lymph node metastases since October 2017 and recently 2 right-side brain metastases and enduring 3 clinical studies, chemo and immunology treatments and 8 radiation series treatment sessions a total of 89 days since May 2019.

TO Dream...Hope...Wish...

The new house... its paid for, few collectablie furniture pieces, a new bed, applainces and hardly any other furniture - 2 bedrooms without beds. Not sure if I will be able to afford it but not giving up... I have risked everything for it and did not plan very well - still trying to figure out if I am going to make it. Since April 2021 everything has went wrong - Hoping I can make it.

Worked myself to exhaustion trying to get weed under control, a little landscaping and now with this fridged Polar Vortex wondering if I wasted the time and money I put into what little grass i had flowers some were old brought back into town.

Centurylink/brightspeed destroyed the website sometime the last week of Septemeber and started got it uploaded back but found there were still blank pages for some reason - Hit a deer in November Hoping 2023 is going to be better - could use some Christmas cheer and spirit... no christmas here this year. My wish list

2023 Bad luck still prevails...

Que Sera, Sera (Whatever will be will be)... God will provide, nothing is impossible as impossible is I'm possible.

Lake Maxinkuckee Its Intrigue History & Genealogy Culver, Marshall, Indiana

Who Am I?